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Very unique

2012-01-29T13:57:00.002-07:00

Unique means one of a kind, with no others like it. It is by itself superlative, with no varying levels of one of a kind, no comparisons.

If others exist, it is not unique.

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Homonyms, homophones, homographs

2011-12-16T20:12:00.002-07:00

An advantage of the rich stew of this mongrel language of English is the eclectic thievery of words from other languages. The disadvantage is the confusion created by homonyms, homophones and homographs:

Homonyms: Words that sound the same and are spelled the same: Bow (the Japanese gesture of respect) or bow (of a ship).
Homographs: Words that are spelled the same whether they have the same sound or not: Buck (a dollar) or buck (what a wild horse does when a rider mounts it) or bow (of a ship) or bow (that thing that flings arrows).
Homophones: Words that have the same sound regardless of how they are spelled. We have two subsets of this, those that have the same spelling and those that have different ones. Former examples include row (as in a boat) and row (as in similar houses on a street). The latter include rowed (again, a boat), road (a street) and rode (a horse).

If you think this is tough, imagine what it must be like for someone whose first language is not English.

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Palette, palate, pallet

2011-12-07T20:14:00.003-07:00

You might put paint on a palette or pallet, but it would not be so pleasant on the palate.

All three words are pronounced the same (pal-ette), but they have no connection.

A palette is the board upon which painters put the paints they are using at the moment. It's a common icon for artists.
A pallet is a platform, usually made of wood, upon which manufacturers stack their product. They're made to be easy to pick up with a forklife.
The palate is that area in your mouth where you can discriminate taste.

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Be alert for PR words

2011-12-02T15:38:00.002-07:00

I was sitting in the dentist’s chair the other day when Doc says he’s going to have to “do a little dusting” to a tooth that was leaning into the space that in implant was supposed to go.

“Dust? You mean grind?”

He gave me a look of mock horror. “We don’t use that word,” he said, showing me his own pearly whites.

Studies by dental groups evidently show that patients wince at the word “grind” when spoken by dentists, but “dust” apparently doesn’t conjure up fear of imminent pain quite so much.

“Dusting,” I pointed out to him, is brushing on or removing a thin film of particles, whiled “grinding” is removing material via abrasion. He was going to do the latter, not check for fingerprints on my tooth.

Words evoke powerful (and often warranted) emotions, which is why the PR department comes up with more palatable phrases. Often it’s harmless or just puffery. Sometimes, though, it’s an attempt to camouflage ugly information, like the military term “collateral damage,” employed because the generals don’t like to be caught on camera saying “we killed a bunch of innocent civilians.”

If you need a great dentist, let me know.

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A Republic reader hates Clay Thompson (and, evidently, grammar).

2011-11-18T12:10:00.002-07:00

Clay Thompson, the least offensive Arizona Republic columnist, answers reader questions in a laid-back ("lazy" wouldn't be pushing the image) style. His fans like his "let us all get along" homey charm. One guy, lately, though, has been jumping on his case on the comments box, wonder why the paper pays this guy to Google a couple of questions a day.

He would be more effective calling Clay a hack, though, if his grammar were less atrocious. Here's just a couple of sentences:

What is worst, a person that would write in such a stupid comment or one that would repeat it in their pathetic excuse for entertainment by a hack journalist that apparently has no other means by which to make a living?

I guess water will find it's own level.

Let us dissect:

"What is worst" - Our friend has a positive, comparative, superlative problem here. Positive states the quality; comparative puts it up against something else; superlative notes the extreme. The classic is good, better and best. The writer uses the superlative when he's comparing, so he should have use the comparative, "What is worse . . . ?"

"a person that" and "one that" - A person is a "who." A thing is a "that." It should be "a person who" and "one who."

"one that would repeat it in their pathetic excuse for entertainment" - "One" is singular. "Their" is plural possessive. This is probably the most frequent mistake in usage today.

"water fill find it's own level" - It's is the contraction. Its is possessive. He means its. http://bit.ly/cBAwiC

Hate Clay of you think he's a bad writer if you wish. But you might want to check your own language before showing the world the perch from which you judge.

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Three ways to enter a story

2011-11-14T14:35:00.001-07:00

I ran into a dentist on vacation who told me that he wantedto become a writer but didn’t know how to get started.

The easiest place to begin is to think of a person, a placeor an event and describe it. Worry abouthow to make it sing and evoke passion later. The first thing you want to do islay the groundwork and build the frame of your story. It’s like building ahouse. Get the frame and walls up beforeinstalling cabinets, painting and decorating. Write your story first as you would tell it toa friend. You might even record it and type in what you said.

Pick a story from your childhood, something your kids mightwant to know about you. I lived on my grandparents’ farm for a while as a child, aslice of Americana that few people experience anymore. I can explore that era by beginning with place(the farm), person (Grandma) or an event. /Find what seems to work best and fold the other two elementsin. Below is a sample.

The place intro sets the scene, and you can lay yourcharacters and events on top of that:

Place:

Grandma and Grandpa’s dairy farm in Upper Peninsula Michigan was acouple of miles down the road from Perkins, which was one road short of anintersection and included a school, store and gas station. The countryside is thick with woods in thenear distance, cleared farms closer tothe road and all thickly covered with snow half the year.

The DeKeyser farmhouse was a hundred yards or so from theroad, down a gravel and dirt drive that lead to a white clapboard rectangle ofa house with two stories, a furnace basement and an attic. The broad porch covered halfthe front, and it was the familygathering spot for all the aunts, uncles and cousins, and Shep, the halfcollie, half German shepherd wonder dog who would chase off in canine nirvanawhen Grandpa would shout at the end of the day, “Shep, get the cows.

Beyond the pastures were dense woods, and up the rise behindthe barn a small pond. In a field beyond that were old cars and trucks, Grandpa’sprivate junkyard, and then more dense woods. Deep in there somewhere was an oldhunting cabin that I saw but once, more a storage room with doors on bothsides.

A apple orchard behind the house kept us in fruit, canned inwinter in those old wax-top Mason jars, along with the bounty of the trunkpatch. Also behind the house was a trio of sheds, two with tools and one withwood for Grandma’s wood-burning stove. A huge tree stump was the cutting block,with a long-handle ax stuck blade down in the top. Chopped split logs of various sizesspilled haphazardly around the block. Kids were not allowed to get close whenadults were chopping wood.

In the middle of the yard were a few shade trees, aglass-faced gravity flow gas pump and the chicken coop, although the chickenwandered all around the yard. The class big red barn across the dirt yard housedmostly hay, with stacked bundles on one side and a rope in the middle,which the cousins used to swing from the bundles onto the softer hay. An appendage to this heldthe cows, no more than a couple dozen or so, with a cement gutterbehind them that captured the falling manure. That was scooped up, with the sound of metal scraping cement andglopping falling spillage, into a wheelbarrow, and dumped in the fields.

Inside the house, Grandma cooked on a wood-burning stove.Grandpa had bought her a gas stove, but she treated that like a microwave, justfor heating water. If you’ve never smelled bread baking in a wood-burning oven,Lord, you’ve missed something.

Downstairs was the never-entered parlor, the living room andgreat stone fireplace, the party line telephone, the kitchen, Grandma andGrandpa’s bedroom, the mudroom to the back and the only bathroom in the place,a smallish luxury add-on tucked under the stairs.

Upstairs were bedrooms along a hall. Because there was no bathroom,they all were outfitted with chamber pots. Across from the bedrooms was a door,always locked, or so we thought, that ascended into a land of mystery wherelittle kids were never allowed.

The attic.

To keep us away from the dusty and dark family flotsam,Grandma told us there was a wolf up there. My old sister, Mary Beth, and Ihad seen the door opened a few times when adults on rare occasion went up thoserustic, unpainted stairs to the first landing, where they pulled a string forlight, and then turned the corner, out of our view. They’d return with a trunkor old lamp, or winter coat or book, and lock the door again.

And we’d wonder how theymanaged to avoid the wolf. If therereally was one.

Key character.

Elsie Beno was born in the horse-and-buggy era near GreenBay, Wisconsin, in 1890, and lived to see a man land on the moon. Both she and my grandfather, Bill DeKeyser,were third-generation Green Bay-born Belgian Catholic Democrats, but it was amixed marriage because he was Flemish and she was Walloon.

Although Grandma had only an eighth-grade education, and Grandpahad to leave school in the third grade to make money when his father died of aheart attack, they raised eight college graduates, all born at home. That included four girls,born before the four boys, all of whom became teachers or nurses. The boys became teachers, administrators andengineers. The oldest boy, thefifth-born child, died in a plane crash in North Africa in the War. I was thefirst second son of the remaining sons, and at Grandma’s insistence, Iinherited his full name, Harold Joseph DeKeyser.

In the first part of the 20^th Century, Elsie andBill bounced around little towns in northern Wisconsin and Upper PeninsulaMichigan, with Grandpa DeKeyser opening and running canning factories andfarming, living in such backwaters as Tigerton and Rock. By the time I cameinto the world, they lived and worked at what was called simply “the farm,” a center-of-the-universe family gatheringplace near Perkins.

Grandma was in her60s when I was in kindergarten and living at the farm after my parents’divorce. The tender age of 5 was no excuse for not helping out, and she wouldhave me gather kindling wood for the wood-burning stove or fetch utensils whileshe was rolling out bread dough. She taught me how to tie my shoes sitting onthatwood floor in the kitchen.

If Grandma was rattled by anything, it was not obvious to my youngeyes. Grandma, my older sister, Mary Beth and I were sitting in Mom’s car infront of the grocery store once when a spider crawled across the seat. MaryBeth, deathly arachnophobic, screamed like she was being attacked by aliens.Grandma looked up, smacked the spider with her bare, open palm and continuedscanning the storefront, waiting patiently for Mom to appear. Strong farm woman.

When we were in primary grades, Grandma would dole outnickels, dimes and quarters to the grandkids for good grades at report cardtime. She was warm, grandmotherly, kind and smiling, but her even-voiced “Shushup, now” demanded instant obedience, although I don’t think I ever heard hereven threaten actual punishment. It was pure moral authority.

When the aunts, uncles and cousins would play penny antepoker around the kitchen table at the farm or the cottage, it was Grandma whowon, thanks to the best bluffing face this side of Mount Rushmore. Andif she won your pennies, she kept them. Lesson learned. You could earn themback with grades. Not chores. You didn’t get paid for that.

Grandma was adamant that kids stay out of the farmhouseattic, a third-story storage unit up primitive steps from the second floor,even concocting a tale of a wolf up there to keep wide-eyed kids cautious. Oneday, however, Mary Beth and I decided that it was just another Easter Bunnyfable, and we sneaked off to find out while Grandma busied herself in the kitchenbelow. No one else was in the house.

Or go straight to theevent, and build the settings and character after that:

Small hands turned the throw bolt on the door to the farmhouseattic, which creaked open excruciatingly loudly. Mary Beth and I grimaced conspiratoriallyat each other, hoping for undelivered reassurance that Grandma could not possibly have heard thatfrom the kitchen downstairs, where she was busy doing grandma kitcheny things. I peeked around the stairs to the first floorto be sure. She didn’t show. I waited. No Grandma. I nodded to Mary Beth. Missionis a go.

Back to the ajarattic door, Mary Beth and I peeked inside the darkness.

We’d only seenthat door opened a few times, when an aunt or uncle would retrieve some dustytreasure while we were told directly, with pointed fingers for emphasis, tostay out. Grandma even concocted a story about a wolf in the attic that wouldeat little kids foolish enough to tread up the mystery steps. Mary Beth and I were80 percent convinced that was hooey. It was the 20 percent that made our hearts race as we ventured into the forbidden territory.

My sister, a year older, already in second grade, held thedoor open for light as I crept up the half dozen unpainted steps to the turnlanding, where the taller adults would turn on the interior light, a simple,unshaded bulb hanging from a wire. But the string was above my reach, and I hadto jump several times to snag and pull it, each time landing in what sounded –in the middle of this certain felony – to be thunderous. I finally got it on,although the bulb was not screwed tightly into the socket, and it flickered abit before settling into even albeit stark illumination.

Mary Beth looked down the hall. Still no Grandma.

That accomplished, she shut the door to our escape from theravenous and protective wolf, whose surety of non-existence was rapidly dropping.She came up to the landing and followed me slowly as we turned the corner upthe next bank of stairs toward the attic’s level, her two hands on myback either as encouragement or for a quick retreat. The attic smelled of dust and must, of oldwood and books. Shadows were long and harsh, small sounds, including breathing, amplified.

As our heads poked up to attic floor level, the light bulb on thelanding below became much less useful as it wasjust a way-station light to another pull-string light somewhere at attic level.We didn’t know where.

Splashes of ambient light came through a windowaround the corner, outlining scattered objects. As our eyesadjusted, I could see a bookcase, a trunk, boxes, a couple of floor lamps andwhat looked like framed pictures. Someonehad been in a box and left items on the floor around it in no conscious order.

Clothes. Rectangles. Somethings.

We waited at the stairs’ edge, gathering vision, losing conviction.

Mary Beth’s hands on my back urged me forward. A dark object I later discovered was a single-pole coat andhat rack was about 10 feet in front of me, with the brightest wand of light inthe attic to its side, so I headed there, ever so slowly. Every other board creaked. I mean creeeeeeeeeaaaaaakkkkkeeeeeeeed.

We got within stretch reach of the coat rack.

I slowly reached outfor it, inhaling for courage.

Another creak.

Then . . . Darkness.

The landing light had gone out. I froze. Mary Beth sucked inair loudly and pushed. I tripped forward, into the rack.

The furry coat, me andthe rack spilled forward, clattering to the floor. I reached up franticly topull myself up and flee, as Mary Beth already had done. Arms flailing, my handsgrabbed hold of something behind the coat rack, grasping the tips of mounteddeer antlers.

Or wolf teeth.

I have no memory of getting up or running back down thestairs in the darkness, but within seconds I was at the attic door, evidently atleast one step ahead of the wolf. Panicking,I fumbled in the darkness for the knob.

Locked!

By the time Grandma heard my sobbing, door-banging screamsand rescued me, Mary Beth was securely hidden under a bed. Safe.

Guess who got in trouble for going in the attic.

*

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Any way, anyway

2011-10-13T12:29:00.000-07:00

You can get to the punk rock festival any way, but I wouldn't anyway.

The former means that multiple methods or paths are available. The latter means regardless.

So what the above sentence is telling us is that there are multiple avenues or strategies to get to this concert, but no matter what's available, I'm not inclined to go.

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Prostate or prostrate

2011-10-09T11:42:00.000-07:00

The prostate gland is part of a man's reproductive system. Prostrate means to lie face down on the ground, considered an act of sublimation in many cultures. The second "r" is the difference.

You hope you do not have to prostrate yourself to get your prostate checked.

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Adopted or adoptive

2011-10-08T14:16:00.003-07:00

People use these words interchangeably as if they had the same meaning. They do not. They are the opposite sides of the same event.

Children are adopted. The folks who bring them into their homes are the adoptive parents. Adoptive is a modifier for people who adopt.

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Hone in or home in

2011-10-01T08:45:00.000-07:00

"He said he would hone in on the problem."

You hear that expression routinely, and it's wrong. Hone means to clean with friction (as in honing the piston cylinders when rebuilding an engine) or to sharpen, as with a knife. It can be used metaphorically to mean to sharpen a procedure or talent, but you will not "hone in" on anything.

Bombs, pigeons and politicians who promise more direct focus will home in on something, perhaps a target, the coop or a budget. Pigeons and bombs do not hone.

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I've told you a million times: Watch your cliches

2011-09-22T07:00:00.004-07:00

It's one of those comfortable as an old sock cliches that we don't think twice about but really makes no sense, at least in this rendition. This quote was featured in an Arizona Republic story about mental health:

"We have many years of experience that demonstrates quite clearly that if you don't provide that kind of structure, they will simply fall between the cracks," said Dr. Paul S. Appelbaum, a Columbia University psychiatry professor and past president of the American Psychiatric Association.

No, they don't fall between the cracks. That's where the wood is. They fall through the cracks.

As a editor who worked for me used to say, "That's not a cliche. I use that all the time."

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You can fight city hall - 8 ways to make your voice heard

2011-09-16T15:30:00.006-07:00

People complain that they can’t fight city hall and that their voices and votes don’t matter. As someone who has worked both as an editorial page editor and an elected official adviser, I know first-hand that’s not the case. While you’re not likely to turn someone around 180 degrees, you can have great influence on those who haven’t made up their minds entirely.

But how you do that matters greatly. Your impact increases exponentially when you use the right form, and here’s the hierarchy:

Sign a petition: Unless the numbers are overwhelming, petitions – particularly internet-driven ones – these have little impact. (The exception being petitions for a narrow decision such as a zoning case signed by a high percentage of neighbors.) It doesn’t take much effort to sign a petition or get someone else to.
Send a form email: You get a bit more punch than a petition, but it still shows a lack of passion or conviction on the subject.
Send your own email: Now you’re starting to get attention. If you take the time to craft a message and use your own words, they know you mean it.
Send your own letter: For some reason, getting a snail mail letter carries more weight than an email. Perhaps that’s because it takes a bit more effort to do this, and people who write letters are more likely to be voters.
Call: A phone call can demonstrate your level of conviction through your voice.
Show up: Go to a meeting where the decision maker speaks to the crowd or you can speak to her or him, and say where you stand. People who do that always vote . . . and never forget.
Any combination of 3-6. Frequency combined with multiple forms works the best. (See the PurpleLetter.org link below; it combines methods.)
Get others to do so also. With social media, it’s easier to spread the word.

So spread the word. The more they care about their job and the less they’re wedded to a position, the more you can influence the outcome. It surely can use some of that these days.

Also see:
10 tips for easy and effective letters

PurpleLetter.org Website makes letters to politicians easy

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Use action verbs

2011-07-25T07:27:00.004-07:00

Active verbs shoot images into your head. Passive verbs just sit there in a state of being.

Active verbs do things. They move, flow, act. Passive verbs tell you the state, not the action that takes one there.

I adore action verbs. (Active verb). They hit me hard. They show you the action, the flow.

I am not a fan of passive verbs. (Passive verb). They are not interesting. They just sit there.

These are active verbs:

Jumped, pounded, surrendered, cut, murdered, drove, plundered, ravaged, assailed, invented, loved, cheated, taught, smoked, moved, handled, tightened, offered, mentored, struck, voted, overturned, indicted, shouted, refuted, canceled, spanked, lied, hustled, styled, wrote, culled, screwed, built, concocted, bled, obliterated, jumped, rode, beat, debated, raced, cherished, rampaged, volunteered, ate, worshiped, chained, rousted, adored, raised, patched, manufactured, fulfilled, defended, stabbed, sailed.

These are passive:

Is, are, was, were, am, be

Which is the more intense construction:

He was dead.

or

She ripped his gushing heart out with a knife and her bare teeth.

Readers will pay more attention to powerful action verbs.

Of this, I am fairly certain.

If you're writing a public official, which statement has more power?

"I am in opposition to higher taxes. "
"I oppose the new food tax."

A stronger, more direct action verb will work even better.

"I vote against council members who raise taxes during a recession." (And not "I am voting against" or "I will vote against." Don't make your power verb lean on a weaker helping verb.)

Remember:
Action = strong
Being = weak.

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Website makes letters to politicians easy

2011-07-20T21:39:00.002-07:00

I can attest, from my 30 years in the newspaper business and in public affairs, that politicians pay attention to voters. One way they know they are hearing from an actual voter is because the constituent bothers to write a letter or make a call. If the guy will take the trouble to do that, he's likely to vote. So the electeds who want to stay that way will listen.

For the politically passionate who throw their shoes at the TV but never bother whip out a letter to City Hall or Washington (and truly have an effect), a Scottsdale-based web site offers tools to make it easier.

At PurpleLetter.org, you bang out your diatribe to your elected official or company whose staff has either delighted or under-served you, click on the recipient and your letter will be winging it's snail mail way to the school board president or company president or . . . The President. The letter also is posted online so you know it's been sent and so you can link to it. It's very cool.

At the behest of the founder, I wrote a piece on how to put together a simple, easy-to-produce and effective letter to a politician. It's below and also on the PurpleLetter.org site.

So tell them what you think, and if you don't like how they listen to you (or fail to do so), throw the bums out.

Democracy rocks.

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10 tips for easy and effective letters

2011-07-20T21:34:00.003-07:00

(Produced for PurpleLetter.org)

People say they're afraid of writing letters to the media or politicians because they're afraid of looking foolish or because they have writer's block. As an editor, writing coach, opinion page editor and aide to a politician, I've seen the full gamut of effective and throw-away missives supporting and opposing things.

Here are 10 tips for make your letter to decision-makers more effective and easier to produce:

Start with a simple statement
If the intended reader only looks at the first sentence, make it the one that slams home your point. It’s also an easier way to get started without fretting over language. Think of it as writing the headline:

"I oppose spending more tax dollars on stimulus packages."
"Please vote for Senate Bill 1322 to promote managed competition."
"I don't believe you can fix the deficit without also fixing Medicare and Social Security."
“I support the school bond issue.”

Let that single, clear declaration stand alone as the first paragraph. That gives it more weight and power.

Follow that with why
What’s wrong with the stimulus package? Why do we need managed competition for government services? Why do those entitlements have to be on the table in deficit reduction? Give your best two or three reasons, not the whole list. Using bullets makes information easy to absorb. Take the entitlements letter, for example:

I don't believe you can fix the deficit without also addressing Medicare and Social Security.

Those two programs alone account for far too much of federal spending to be left out of the solution. Without revamping these entitlements, we never will get out of the debt hole, and our economy and our people will suffer.

Also:
• People are living longer today than when these programs began, so the problem will grow.
• Fewer workers are available to pay for more and more retiree benefits.
• If we don’t reform it now, it will fail eventually. Delaying reform will destroy the very program we want to save.

End with a statement saying what you want them to do:
“Please vote yes to put the school bond issue to a public vote.”

Use short sentences
Long, convoluted sentences, such as those stack supplemental information in the middle of clauses set off by commas, which steers the reader away from the initial point, the one you most wanted to make when you first decided to write the letter, an effective way to get leaders' attention, by the way, you create a circumstance in which the reader can't remember the subject by the time the verb or object comes along. (Do you remember the first three words of that sentence?)

Use short sentences. Add information in following sentences. It's much easier to understand. (See?)

Use short paragraphs
Big blocks of gray type are hard to read and intimidating. Short paragraphs also impose a discipline on the writer to get to the point.

Use common words
Don't try to impress with $50 words. The No. 1 goal of writing is clarity. If the reader doesn't understand the message, it failed. Jargon is not only boring, it’s less direct. “Helped” or “hurt” are more clear than “impacted,” which could mean either, or something else. If you mean “buy,” don’t use “acquire,” which could involve means other than purchasing.

Small words are clear. Grandiloquent verbosity is obtuse.

Use your own voice
Don’t try to write like someone else. Write like you talk. When I was editing reporters, I made them tell me what the story was about before I would look at the copy they turned in. Often, I had them rewrite the story to more resemble what they said.

Read it out loud
When you're done, read what you wrote out loud. Note where you stumble on words or the construction. Then go back and use smaller words and shorter construction.

Have someone else read it over
It doesn't have to be a professional editor. The point isn't to make your prose sing but to make sure that it's clear. Another person also will see, better than the writer, usage errors such as "there" for "their," which spell checks won't pick up. If you can't do that, let your letter sit a while and look at it later with fresh eyes.

Do it now
Sending a message from a voter/constituent is a powerful instrument. If you want to affect a policy, get it done now. If you do it short, simple and quick, it not only will be easier but your point of view will heard earlier, when the decision-maker is formulating her decision.

Hal DeKeyser is a 25-year newspaper and public affairs veteran who now writes about writing at www.AZWritingCoach.com, where you can find more tips on writing and language. He has been a reporter, editor, opinion editor and publisher, plus chief of staff for an elected official. He can be reached at HalD@WhizbangGroup.com.

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Where to drop the time element

2011-07-20T21:28:00.002-07:00

Be careful of where you put the time element. This just in from AZCentral:

Scottsdale police arrested a 30-year-old man suspected of burglarizing two businesses after a chase early Wednesday, police said.

That’s a bold thief. It takes moxie to hit two businesses right after the cops chase you all over town.

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Simile, metaphor, allegory, parable

2011-06-18T14:31:00.004-07:00

You smell like a dog left outside in the rain.

You are the single red rose in my garden.

Writers use allusions to trigger common reactions in readers. It’s a way to write descriptively, to provide clues to intensity, clarity and universally understood features. It is the difference between “it smelled good” and “cinnamon on hot buttered toast.”

The first is a “tell.” The second puts the reader in the room, directly in the writer’s experience. That’s why I encourage using descriptions that readers can get their arms around, rather than bland modifiers. I have a more specific image of Elvis hair or weathered cowboy pickup or eight stories than I do of retro, run-down or high.

Simile is a comparison using like or as. Metaphor makes the connection direction, without the like or as. The first two lines above are simile and metaphor.

Allegory is a more expanded version, like a metaphor on steroids. It employs a story line that is both literal and symbolic, such as Plato’s “Allegory of the Cave” that we all had to read in high school or college. It usually attempts to make a philosophical or political point.

Parables are similar, with a story line designed to illustrate a spiritual or ethical message. Probably the best known is the Prodigal Son parable in the Bible.

All of the above are methods to deliver larger messages using common yet powerful themes that we all understand. If your goal is clarity, and messages almost always are useless without that, these are essential tools.

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How to create a news release, and why

2011-05-28T18:11:00.007-07:00

When I’m asked to write a PR release, my first question is why?

In my decades as an editor, most of the PR releases that crossed by desk were merely passing through on the way to the trash can or the delete button. They were either pointless to my audience, gushing over with hyperbole or too much work to find the usable nugget.

There are lots of good reasons to send a news release. Make sure you know what yours is, and then create it to accomplish that.

The first question to ask before writing a news release is why? What do I hope to accomplish? It could be:

To get someone to write a story about it or redistribute the information
To get people to show up
To have someone do a review
To improve web search results
To keep you name out there
To develop a reputation as an expert in the field.

Then write the release with the goal in mind. There could be more than one. If, for example, you’re trying to be the expert and get the company name quoted, then provide timely information useful to people. The Auto Club, for example, offers the weekly average gas prices plus seasonal stories about how to weatherize the car for summer, expected traffic on long weekends, what to do in auto emergencies, where to get a free ride home for drinkers on traditional drinking holidays and safety information on child seats. It’s all about cars, and it’s all good information.

Employment companies put out surveys about job satisfaction or fun but soft stories about relationships at work, dumb things people do in job interviews and the like. It’s useful and interesting and about their business. It’s a free story to be passed on. The best way to get noticed is to serve the end user.

Here are a few rules to consider when creating a release:

Say something different. Tell a story, not a collection of facts. If it’s not interesting, don’t expect people to be interested. If you have a laundry business or hair salon or bakery, great, but that’s not interesting in itself. If your laundry specializes in cleaning up blood and the homicide squad routinely calls you in, that’s a story. If your salon has the newest, all-the-rage new Japanese hair-straightening treatment, that might be interesting to a certain market. If you bake marijuana muffins, people will read. If you sell real estate like every other agent, big deal.
Tell it quickly and straight . I don’t need a set-up, surprise ending and endless laudatory modifiers. Get to the point, the elevator speech: Acme creates portable devices so soldiers on the ground can tell if chemical or biological agents are present. Never produce more than one page.
Don’t make me look around or work. Put contact and key info in one spot, set off and maybe bold so it’s easy to find. Name, address, phone, website, email at minimum; more depending on subject.
Make it timely and targeted. If it’s event-oriented, give people time to do something with the information. If it affects a specific area or audience (and most things do), make that evident and get it to the information-distribution entities that cater to those areas and audiences. (That used to be mostly local newspapers but no more.)

Can you do it yourself or should you hire someone?

If the sole purpose of the release is to improve you search standings by dropping it on a bunch of PR wires, go ahead and write it yourself (making sure that you get key words up high).

You can also do it yourself if you:

Know your business well and can explain your purpose succinctly
Know or can figure out where to send it
Can write without grammar errors.

If you can’t accomplish all those tasks, consider paying someone to do it for you. So how do you know who to hire? Consider these things:

If they’re not asking you the right questions, they’re not going to get the right results. So if they’re not asking right off the bat why you’re doing this, what you want to happen, who is your audience and the like, find someone else.
This is my bias, but I recommend finding someone who has been on the receiving end of releases and knows what she or he is looking for. You want someone who is experienced at finding the story and telling it well. Reporters and editors run through countless stories every week, and I prefer that experience over PR training absent that. However, some PR professionals who have never seen a newsroom do a great job.
Don’t believe them if they promise results that are not in their control, like a placed story.
Get examples of news releases they’ve produced recently. Are they interesting? Are they grammatical? Or are they filled with gushing “We’re excited to announce that . . .” constructions that don’t seem to have an interesting point? Would you pass on that information?
Lastly, will they tell you that you have a bad idea? If you’re paying for expertise, you don’t have to take that advice, but you certainly want them to give it freely. If they’re going to just do what you want whether it works for you or not simply to keep you paying, you’re wasting your money and everyone's time.

If you need help with a release, other presentations or media relations, contact Hal DeKeyser at Hald@WhizbangGroup.com or 602-316-6863.

Back up, back-up, backup

2011-05-27T19:08:00.004-07:00

I failed to back up my computer a couple of years ago, which created a backup in my work flow. Fortunately, I had a back-up plan.

Yikes! What's right?

I saw this used (and used incorrectly) recently, and it's a good example for other such constructions as the rules apply broadly.

Back up is the verb, the action, as in to back up a computer (Hal slaps head for forgetting), a truck or your friends.

Back-up is the compound modifier. When two words used together modify the noun following it, they are hyphenated, as in the all-time high. "All" doesn't modify "high" singularly; it does so in combination with the word "time." So you use the hypen to make that point.

Backup is the noun, as in the traffic backup or the work-flow (compound modifier; get it?) backup.

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Town Hall artsy advocates can't see the real picture

2011-05-11T17:34:00.000-07:00

Pure artists are among the most libertarian (lower case “l”) and market-driven entrepreneurs around. They produce a piece of work (or a piece of crap) and the world either buys it or doesn’t. Some people put paint on a canvas, producing butt-kicking visual glory. Some produce something that looks like a hand grenade went off at a Dunn & Edwards store. It’s the audience’s call.

I buy the notion that art can be an economic driver. In a few rare occasions, like Scottsdale or Santa Fe, it’s a significant one, producing sales tax, jobs and tourism, not to mention very cool strolling boulevards. For the rest of our fair burgs, it can be a bit of that, just a bit marginally so.

I’m a writer and photographer, which I like to think of as art, at least in some renditions. We have two kids who make arts their living (visual artist and actress,) albeit not without significant supplements in these early stages. All those things, plus my time as a newspaper editor and publisher, are what got me on the West Valley Arts Council and eventually the board chairman. That’s what took me down to Tucson a week ago to spend four days with mostly artsy-fartsy types for the Arizona Town Hall’s semi-annual conclave, this one on the arts and Arizona’s economy.

Arizona Town Hall is a very cool concept. Invited are folks interested and involved in the topic at hand, by regions of Arizona, by what people do, what they belong to and how involved they are (and, of course, ethnicity). The intention is to mash all this connection, polarities and narrow interests together to come up with recommendations, with inside knowledge and passions, that the broader world can understand and buy.

Sometimes it works great; sometimes not so much so. This was the latter.

Some of the conversation was around how to market arts better, cheaper and do so effectively to make them more valuable and lower the cost of production. We talked about developing and sharing real data that would demonstrate economic value. But when it came down to the recommendations, though, they couldn’t resist sprinting back to the tin cup entitlement mentality.

Major recommendations were for a dedicated statewide sales tax to fund arts, city by city percent for arts tax, restoring “full funding” for the Arizona Arts Commission (whatever that means) and putting more tax money into schools for arts. There were also calls for political action funds to defeat any legislator who dared vote against this package.

I went to the microphone during the “plenary session,” when the scores of participants gather the final day to vote on the recommendations and make amendments. My pitch—a solitary one, it turns out -- was that the rest of the world is broke and expects the arts community to figure this out itself, and this “we deserve your money” attitude would be dismissed as more entitlement loony toons back on Planet Earth.

The crickets were deafening.

It was fitting that this conclave was in Don’tGetItVille, the territorial capital of liberal tax and spend Baja Arizona. It was like a town hall on real estate recommending that we build thousands more houses than we have demand for and selling them to people with no jobs or credit. In other words: “That didn’t work. What the hell. Let’s try it again.”

The minority element of my disappointment was the denial of economic reality. My biggest one was the lost opportunity to demonstrate that arts can be a relevant and worthwhile feeder to your economy, particularly in a tourism attractive state like Arizona, and that the people who thought that way were going to take the responsibility for proving it. You don’t have to be moved by guys in white tights bounding around a stage to understand or appreciate that, any more than you have to spend four days with dusty drunks and roaring Detroit mills to get the economic value of NASCAR.

My plea is for you all to recognize that arts not only enrich our communities in those feel-good ways that are hard to define by hard data, but they also create jobs, supplement (but really don’t drive) business relocation decisions and, done right, can give more to the economy than they take. I don’t want to tax you into foreclosure to beat that into your skull. I want you to recognize that it’s good for you, your state, your family, your kids and their future, and that you pony up according to what you can afford, directed at what flips your pancakes. You know. Like capitalism.

The good economic story about arts, the one we should have told in Tucson, is not how those artsy folks can take your money against your will, but rather what they can provide you. I think it’s a lot.

*****

Hal DeKeyser is a longtime Valley editor and publisher who also blogs at www.AZwritingcoach.com. He can be reached at Hald@WhizBangGroup.com.

Newest publishing trend: Mini is big

2011-04-19T08:09:00.004-07:00

The newest trend in personal publishing has developed a system for people, speakers, marketers and unpublished writers to create and publish their own books quickly, inexpensively and professionally.

The Phoenix-based MiniBük uses a portable and handy 3 1/2 by 5 inch

format that fits in pockets and purses and can be produced as inexpensively as about a buck for a 64-page book. It can run off as few as 250 copies, so a creator can test market an idea without spending thousands just to see the first book. So they are affordable and scalable.

And they are repurposing devices. Established authors make individual chapters of a previously published book into a MiniBük, using that as an inexpensive marketing giveaway or another revenue stream. It gives e-book authors a marketing tool and something physical to sign.

A helpful feature of the MiniBük is its creation of a community of editors, writers, creative artists, designers and marketers who authors and others can use to help get their book produced. You can either produce the entire contents yourself and use the templates and tools provided by MiniBük for you to make it print ready. Or you can work with a Publishing Partner who will help you determine what outside expertise is needed, gather the talent team and help you marshal the book through. So someone with a good idea but not strong writing or graphic skills still can produce a book and get it quickly to market.

A huge value of a MiniBük is its compactness, its greater punch packed in a smaller, more portable and therefore usable container. You may have read books with good information but too much redundancy and peripheral content around the meat of the message. A successful MiniBük pares that fat and filler down to the core. It’s a case of less is more.

“The Ladies’ Guide to Automotive Repair” MiniBük is a perfect example; it fits handily in the glove box and provides timely, targeted information exactly when and where it’s needed.

The popular Stinkweeds music store in Phoenix used a MiniBük to highlight its “Stinkweeds Best of 2010,” an annual publication that also serves as a menu for music purchasers. But the MiniBük format turned that into a handy reference that stays on the shelf, unlike a tossed brochure.

The Comic-Con Survival Guide,” one of the larger MiniBüks at 170 pages, was sold at the well-attended San Diego convention, giving tips on the best panels, navigating the show, plus the area and accommodations. It still fits in the back pocket.

Eight principal uses find MiniBük to be an effective format, according to MiniBük’s David Seid.

Guides – Show how to get around events, communities, attractions, recreation, entertainment or dining venues, sporting events, conferences, retail stores, vacations and more. Guides also include directories, dictionaries, “best of” lists, travel and activity schedules and educational tools.

Authorship – Some people just have a story in them bursting to get out but didn’t know how to put it together in a book form. MiniBük works for short- or medium-length tales, whether they are stories, essays or messages. They can be a family history, a children’s story, war stories, and tales from youth, fiction, an ode to a dear friend, poetry or prose.

How-to – Anything that needs explaining comes under the heading of How-to, with repairing, assembling, improving, creating, accomplishing, solving, or suggesting. It could be about business, relationships, parenting, sports, games, investing, marketing, preparedness, social media, authoring, cooking, vehicles & more.

Selling/marketing – MiniBük is valuable at explaining a person or organization’s expertise or how something works, helping potential customers understand how the product or service fits their needs. They also give readers a sample of the author’s business knowledge, such as a real estate agent, an estate planner, an eLearning company, a veterinarian or specialty lawyers. David Newman, a national marketing expert and speaker, produced the “21 Secrets of Simple Marketing Success” MiniBük and used it to market his services. A Wall Street Journal story in December 2010 told of how consultants, speakers and professionals who became published authors in their field also boosted their credibility in the subject with customers, the media and the general public – while creating another revenue stream.

Fundraising – Non-profits and charities use the MiniBük to tell a compelling human story about people helped – with the credibility and completeness that a brochure or tri-fold couldn’t provide. It can offer all the information about the group or cause, in as much detail as desired, and in a format that will be kept rather than tossed. It’s also easy to update.

Message – Some authors have a message they want to deliver to the world, be that spiritual, political, lifestyle, personal growth. MiniBük can be the quickest, easiest and least expensive way of doing so, while still retaining the credibility and shelf life of a book.

Gift – MiniBük offers a more effective vehicle for the traditional gift card. A MiniBük with a gift card includes information such as locations, uses of the product or service and other tools to drive business to the card-issuing store or service.

Celebration – Weddings, Bar and Bat Mitzvahs, retirements, awards, graduations, Aunt Marilyn’s 100^th birthday, honoring a major benefactor to a non-profit and similar events are opportunities to chronicle the landmarks and contributions of a person, people or organization. A MiniBük can be produced as a credible keepsake that those close to the subject will hang onto for years.

Other features of the format:

• The small size means the books can be mailed in a custom MiniBük envelope or a number ten envelope using a single first class stamp.

• The PDF file used to print, is directly usable as an ebook file on smartphones and iPads.

• A patent pending feature allows creators to include a perforated tear-out business card in the inside cover, making it a more effective marketing tool.

• A fulfillment service in which MiniBük will store, fill and mail orders for authors’ books.

• Coming soon is a feature linking viewers of the MiniBük to a shopping cart or purchasing site.

MiniBük: David or Kathy Seid
800-900-2499 – www.minibuk.com

Hal DeKeyser, 602-316-6863, Hald@whizbanggroup.com

Fair, fare

2011-04-10T15:41:00.003-07:00

I got a note back from a client telling me that my invoice was "more than fare." I'm hoping she meant "more than fair" or I won't be getting much more work there.

Fare is the standard rate charged, generally referring to a transit fee, like a bus fare, or sometimes to the person paying it. So if my bill was more than fare, I over-charged. Fare also refers to food, or diet, as Thanksgiving fare. It also means how things are going, as in how did you fare, or fare the well.

Fair means just or equal, as in a fair price or a fair bargain, or without bias, as in a fair judge. It's also a community festivity, usually annual. Finally, it means without imperfections, as in a fair maiden (when's the last time you heard that reference?).

So let's be fair. My fare was more than fair. Fair enough? (I hope I get paid.)

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Sediment, sentiment

2011-03-30T08:09:00.002-07:00

"Overwhelmingly the sediment of the public today . . . " began a political missive that landed in my in box this month. The writer's grasp of politics paralleled that of his language skills, but this entry is about the latter, not the former.

Sentiment is an attitude or feeling, generally with emotion attached.

Sediment is natural materials such as rock or organic material broken down and carried off to some common destination, generally by water but also by wind, such as desert sand. It's that muck at the mouth of the river.

The sediment-sentiment thing was a new mis-use of the language, at least one I hadn't encountered previously, so I pass it on to you.

Perhaps the writer believes today's voters have mud in their hearts. These are odd times.

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Devise, device

2011-03-26T12:13:00.002-07:00

You devise a plan to keep burglars out of your house. Devise is a verb, like concoct or conceive.

When putting the devised plan into action, you will use devices such as locks, lights, alarms and wooden poles in the windows. Devices are nouns, generally thingamajigs and do-hickies, something created to do something.

An exception is when devise is used as a legal term in a will as something that transfers property.

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Tenants, tenets

2011-03-12T10:27:00.001-07:00

I saw a reference to the "tenants of Catholicism" the other day. The church must be leasing out the halls for extra cash.

A tenet is a core belief or principle, like we "believe in God, the father almighty, creator of Heaven and Earth." If you don't buy that tenet, Catholicism probably isn't for you.

A tenant is someone who leases space in which to live or do business. We have had tenants in rental houses. Not all have followed the tenets of Good Housekeeping.

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Weather, whether, wether

2011-02-13T15:00:00.003-07:00

Most writers know that weather refers to the temporary climate, all that crashing and precipitation coming out of the sky. It's not often confused with whether, an introduction to an option, as in "Whether it rains or not, we're going camping."

Awareness of the difference is helpful, though, as the mind plays jokes on the fingers sometimes, and Spell check is a poor backstop. Where if fails even more so is with wether, a seldom-used word that is but one strike of a key different than either whether or weather.

A wether is a a male sheep, generally castrated. A variation that includes it is bellwether, as in Ohio is a bellwether of presidential political sentiment. Bellwether means the leader or the emerging new way. That comes from the herder hanging a bell on a wether to lead the other sheep around (the political metaphor works on multiple levels).

So it makes a huge difference in your life whether you are the weather man or the wether man.

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Cavalry or Calvary?

2011-02-05T13:42:00.002-07:00

Does the cavalry charge up Calvary or the calvary charge up Cavalry?

I used to get this one wrong regularly. One is a military unit mounted on horses (cavalry) and the other is the hill in Jerusalem where Jesus was crucified (Calvary). They sound similar, the distinction being whether the L sound or the V sound comes first.

Calvary is a proper noun as the name of a specific landmark. It means hill of skulls. If you go to the Holy City expecting to find a big hill, you'll be disappointed. It's more of a rise, at least these days.

The memory jog I use to distinguish is that Calvary is a proper noun, a name, and so is its first syllable, the familiar of one of our presidents, Cal Coolidge. The V also is a military formation.

So don't join the Cavalry Church unless you want to find yourself watching services mounted on an Appalossa.

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Things in threes

2011-01-22T10:28:00.006-07:00

I was editing a news release the other day referring to three myths foisted on taxpayers that referred to the trio as a “trifecta.” That didn’t suit the intent sufficiently, so it was changed to “hat trick” and finally to “trilogy.”

Writers, debaters and particularly journalists like things in threes. If we have three examples, or three dots along a continuum, we can craft a lead sentence that proves darn near anything. We have a lot of words for things in threes that mean similar things, but some with useful distinctions.

In addition to those three, we have trio, trinity, the Triple Crown and more. While they all share the concept of “threeness,” there can be useful nuances.

Trilogy tends to refer to novels, stories, movies and other artsy creations that are related or tell a sequential story, like the Trilogy of the Rings or the Godfather movies.

Trifecta comes to us from the horse-racing world, where bettors pick the top three finishers, in perfect order (graft "tri" on to "perfect" to get some version of "trifecta.") Its use is more expansive as a metaphor, as in any three good things in a row. Its narrow niche among the “three” words, though, is the 1, 2, 3 finish.

Hat trick, also from the sports world, is used mostly in hockey, and it means three goals in one game. It's used to describe any three accomplishments, but particularly in the same game, event or arena.

Horse racing's Triple Crown is full of threes. It is the prize for winning three races for 3-year-old thoroughbred horses - the Kentucky Derby, Preakness Stakes and Belmont Stakes. The last horse to pull off this hat trick was Affirmed, in 1978. So it’s a metaphor for winning three significant contests in a row.

Trinity comes to us from the Christian concept of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, three entities but all one deity. It's less used than sports metaphors and more often for three entities that work or fit together than three accomplishments. Irish nuns, I’m told, used shamrocks to explain to Catholic school students how that works.

A triumvirate is a ruling body of three parts. In the U.S. that could be the executive, legislative and judicial branches of government. In Russia, where it's called a troika (a word we've hijacked), that would be the head of state, head of the party and the head of government. (Sometimes it's an unholy trinity.)

Ménage à trois is French (who else?) for household of three, or a live-in arrangement involving three partners, generally meant as sexual partners but certainly a close relationship. In the good ole USA, it’s simply a threesome. (If you want to have fun in a restaurant waiting area, sign up for a table under “Ménage, party of three” and watch the reaction to the call from the hostess.)

Triage, another French words, isn’t about threes but about separating, mostly used for prioritizing care for casualties in war or disasters. It does, however, split them into three categories – those who would be helped by immediate care, and those who are likely to live, or die, regardless of care.

As a former editor, here’s my favorite quote involving threes, happily involving both newspapers and sex:

"There are three things no one can do to the entire satisfaction of anyone else: make love, poke the fire, and run a newspaper."
– William Allen White, 1917

And, while we’re at it, how about some of the favorite things that come in threes:

Larry, Moe and Curly
Red, white and blue
Three coins in a fountain
Huey, Dewey and Louie
Rock, paper, scissors
the Magi
The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (which also became a trilogy)
Gold, silver, bronze
Lies, damned lies and statistics
sex, drugs and rock 'n roll . . . or wine, women and song for the older generation
Third Rock from the Sun
Anaheim, Azusa and Cucamonga
Three’s Company
Three blind mice
See no evil; hear no evil; speak no evil
Three Amigos
Faith, Hope and Charity

Got more?

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Take and bring

2011-01-01T14:52:00.003-07:00

Please bring me take-out

Did you bring your lunch to work, or did you take your lunch to work?

That depends on where you are when you ask. You take things out and bring things in, or you bring things here (where you are) and take them there.

So you bring in the mail and take out the trash. You take out your date, but when things get serious, you bring her home to meet Mom. You bring home the bacon and take your umbrella when it might rain. Take me out to the ballgame, and when the runner is rounding third, we'll yell, "Bring it home!"

Someone at work might ask you if you bring your lunch to work (here), while someone who doesn't work with you would ask you if you take your lunch (from home) to work.

So that's the take on those two words. Bring on the next question.

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Pre and pro

2010-12-28T08:19:00.002-07:00

No one talks about stupid things people say better than the late George Carlin, so at the end of this missive you’ll be treated to his take on unnecessary words. WARNING: You’ve heard George before, so you might not want to play it loudly in the office or in front of small children or Grandma.

First, a few words about pro- and pre-. We add these prefixes onto words in a feeble and failed attempt to make them more powerful. The best example of this is “proactive,” which means absolutely nothing more than “active.”

Actually, it makes the word mean less than active. Pro means favoring something, so proactive is favoring active. Active means doing something; proactive means favoring doing something, which is less than actually doing something. Perhaps the bureaucrats more accurately describe their work than they intend.

Bureaucrats absolutely love this word as they think it makes them appear professional and on top of things when it fact it makes them seem officious and silly. It is useless fill. I am con-active about pro-active.

Pre, as we all know, means to come before, as in preeminence. Suzy is eminent before John is eminent, so she is preeminent, or superior. It frequently and unfortunately is used when a less stilted form would be preferred or even more narrow, such as pre-adolescent instead of child, toddler or baby. Another example is pre-deceased, often used in obits when mentioning survivors and significant others in the dearly departed’s life who took an earlier train out. (Hint: “Died before” works as well as pre-deceased.)

It gets downright silly when it’s used to mean early rather than before, as in to pre-board or pre-register. Pre-register means before you register. If you mean early registration, say early registration. George, in the link below (remember the WARNING), does this point more justice than I could attempt.

George Carlin on pre

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Umbrella modifiers: Green lettuce and lunch meat

2010-12-24T14:30:00.003-07:00

When a modifier is placed in front of multiple nouns, does it speak to all of them or just the first one? Be careful where you put those descriptive words so readers are not confused.

Which is more clear?

They ate sandwiches with green lettuce and lunch meat.
They ate sandwiches with lunch meat and green lettuce.

Not being a huge fan of green lunch meat, I prefer the latter. When the modifier refers to only one item in the string, put both at the end of the string to avoid confusion.

Also be careful of the same thing when using conjunctions. Remember, part of clarity is making sure you’re not saying what you don’t intend:

The students went up the hill with teachers and rucksacks on their backs.

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Wringer, ringer

2010-12-21T17:45:00.004-07:00

Most of you aren't old enough to remember Grandma's washing machine, which was a twirling tub with a wringer attached. As there was no automatic spin cycle (or automatic much of anything back then), you had to wring the water out through the two rollers, or the wringer. A person who worries might also be referred to as a hand-wringer.

A ringer is one of those altruistic volunteers in front of Wal-mart at Christmas with a bell and a bucket -- or a quality player who really doesn't belong being sneakily inserted on a sports team to give it an advantage.

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Breathe, breath, breadth

2010-12-19T12:45:00.003-07:00

That single "e" on the end can cause great confusion. So relax -- breathe deeply -- it's fairly simple.

Breathe is the verb. Breath is the noun. My way of remembering the spelling is that breathe (as in breathe deeply) tends to be pronounced in a more drawn out fashion, almost as if it were just packed with e's, as in "breeeeeeeeeeeeethe." So slap an "e" on the end.

Don't confuse breath with breadth, which is the side-to-side measurement of an object. Think of measuring the width of a loaf of bread, a word also contained in the word breadth.

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Reluctant, reticent

2010-12-14T07:27:00.001-07:00

Reticence refers to an unwillingness to speak or discomfort talking. Reluctance is a general unwillingness to act, including the act of speaking. Reticent fits under the reluctant umbrella. But you can be reluctant about many things beyond speech.

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Climactic, climatic

2010-12-13T07:50:00.001-07:00

Whether you believe in global warming or not, you'll look stupid if you use the wrong language to make your argument.

Things related to the weather and climate are climatic. Global warming (or cooling, or just humming along merrily with weather as usual) is climatic.

Climactic refers to the climax, as in, oh, a movie.

So if you had an intensely critical moment in a movie about global warming, it would be climactic, climatic and cinematic.

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Discrete and discreet

2010-12-12T09:10:00.001-07:00

I have had trouble with these two similar words for years and finally came upon an easy way to remember the difference.

Discrete means they come from different or separate areas, as in "Arizona has many discrete Native American tribes, including the Navajo and the Hopi."

Discreet means prudent, cautious and judicious, particularly in regards to speech. It's used to describe behavior employed when one wants to get information across but doesn't want it to be noticed beyond the intended recipient: "She discreetly motioned for her boyfriend to wipe the food crumbs from his mouth."

The only difference in the actual word is the location of the "t." In discrete, the T separates the E's. Discrete separates the groups, and its T separates the E's. Get it?

OK, it's a push, but my guess is that the sillier the memory tip, the more likely I am to remember it. So there you go.

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Dual in the son

2010-12-02T11:59:00.001-07:00

Duel, dual

Both "duel" and "dual" involve two. In a duel, it's two people or forces battling, as in the classic pistol at 10 paces. It also can be more philosophical or metaphorical, as in a duel of wits.

"Dual" just means two often similar things, as in dual citizenship. It doesn't necessarily come under "fighting words," as does duel.

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Already, all ready

2010-11-29T07:42:00.001-07:00

Were you all ready already?

These seem like the same thing but are not. All ready means that everything is set to go, that nothing is left to prepare, as in "The troops were all ready for battle." "Already" speaks to the time frame, something occurring before a specified point, as in "The battle was already engaged." The word "already" does not speak to how prepared one might be.

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It's a mute point but . . .

2010-11-24T13:59:00.002-07:00

Moot, mute

We see this error more in spoken than written language, and I just heard it and it annoyed me, so it warrants an entry.

It is a moot point, not a mute point. Moot is something that is irrelevant, or no longer relevant. Mute means silent, as in a deaf mute or to mute the music. "Moot" rhymes with "hoot." "Mute" rhymes with "beaut," or might look like "myute" if written phonetically.

So unless you mean a silent point (whatever that might be), it's a moot point.

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Try and learn this lesson

2010-11-07T17:30:00.002-07:00

"Try and . . . ." is a common and incorrect construction when one intends to mean "try to . . . ."

"Bob is going to try to file his taxes early this year."
That means Bob is going to make an attempt at getting his taxes done before April 15. (Good luck, Bob. You're a better man than I.)

"Bob is going to try and file his taxes early this year."
That means Bob will complete two separate actions, "try" and "file." We seldom intend this meaning, so get rid of the "try and" constructions.

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Every day, everyday

2010-10-30T12:19:00.002-07:00

An everyday event doesn't necessarily happen every day.

The former is a modifier daily, but also just common. "Heat is an everyday event in Phoenix."

Every day means exactly that - each and every day. "The sun comes up every day."

This rule works with similar constructions. You put your backyard patio set in the back yard.

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Use word pictures to create images readers can get their arms around

2010-10-19T07:13:00.008-07:00

It’s a million square feet of retail space. It’s 80 cubic feet. What does that mean to you?

Does anyone have a clue how big either of those are? Can you get your arms around those numbers?

How about half the size of Scottsdale Fashion Square, or the size of a standard pickup bed? Can you visualize that?

Of course you can. You not only can visualize that, but all of us have the same approximation of what that means. That’s why I encourage people to write visually. Use the five senses. Use words and references that paint the picture you’re trying to get across in terms that people experience personally (unless you specifically want the reader to come up with his or her own sensory experiences).

Don't just say "a man playing a piano." Describe the grimy fingernails, the peeling, wood keys, the tip chalice, the colors, shapes and condition, the sunny day, the sound of the music.

So it’s Elvis hair, UCLA blue, as high as a telephone pole, blood red, cinnamon (or rotten egg) scented, as warm as an October sun, solid as beach sand, as jolting as a rear-end crash, as giggly as pre-schoolers with puppies.

Think of a man smoking. What do you see? That could be a grizzled Marlboro man, an Asian with a hookah, Franklin Roosevelt with a silver cigarette holder – a million images spring to mind.

Try this:

The lean 20-something with a full head of greased and swept-back blondish hair leaned casually against the peeling, stucco wall. He fished a Camel straight out of the map pocket of his ’50s era black motorcycle jacket draped over a plain white T-shirt. He fired it up, bending a single match around the matchbook with one hand, bringing the flaring flame to butt’s end with just a momentary glance. Stuffing matches back into his beltless Levi’s, he blew a smoke ring and stared indifferently into the street, a poster child for youthful, male rebellion.

Got a word picture of that?

When you want readers to see what you see, don’t tell, describe, using word pictures.

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Robbery, burglary, theft

2010-10-17T10:27:00.002-07:00

I was at a Block Watch party in Phoenix the other day when the neighborhood captain explained that the group formed after an elderly neighbor's house had been robbed twice.

"You mean burglarized," I offered.

"Yeah," he said, nodding. "Robbed twice."

It's not the same thing.

Theft is the umbrella term that loosely covers both terms. That's is when someone steals something, however that might be pulled off.

Burglary involves entering a property without permission but with criminal intent. "Breaking and entering" comes under this, although no "breaking" is required, just entering. The criminal intent doesn't always have to be theft, either, although that's generally the case. Burglars generally want to do their dirty deed without confronting anyone. They are stealthy thieves.

Robbery, on the other hand, is all about confrontation and intimidation. The thief here uses fear to get what he (it's almost always a he) wants. Add a weapon (although you just need threat for robbery, not an actual weapon) and it's armed robbery.

So sneaky, break-and-entering thieves are burglars. In-your-face, "gimme your dough" thieves are robbers. Your house is burglarized. You are robbed.

Feel safer now? Well, go start a block watch in your neighborhood. They work great.

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Lose, loose

2010-09-16T15:58:00.002-07:00

While we’re in the “words we shouldn’t have to explain” political season, let’s take a stab at loose and lose.

Lose is the opposite of win.

Loose is the opposite of tight. It is not correct to use it in place of lose, which seems to be occurring all too often this political season.

Some correct campaign usage:

“He’s a loose cannon.”

“It’s the party of loose wing nuts.”

“She’s playing fast and loose with the facts.”

“They are going to lose the House on Nov. 2.”

“No matter what happens, you’re likely to lose money.”

Remember, you don’t loose an election. Loose is a condition. Loosen is a verb. So use the word correctly and don't be a looser.

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They're, their, there

2010-09-11T10:32:00.003-07:00

I wish I didn’t have to do this one, but reading the commentary under news articles during the political season gives me a clear, and frightening, view of our culture’s grasp of language. I have witnessed multiple abuses of they’re, their, and there. Perhaps those less passionate about their politics remember Miss Beebee’s sophomore English lessons a bit better that the Reds and Blues – not to mention the rainbows.

So here are the simple rules:

They’re. It’s a contraction (like it’s). The apostrophe fills in for the missing letters. It means “they are.” Get it? See here for more on apostrophe abuse.

“There” notes a direction or existence. “There he goes.” “There are three liberals in the race.”

“Their” is a plural possessive pronoun. Multiple people have or own something, not always a good thing. “Their grasp of the English language is abominable.”

There you go.

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Oral or verbal

2010-09-09T10:16:00.002-07:00

These words often are used interchangeably to mean “spoken.” Oral is the more precise word for that, as it refers to things of the mouth. An “oral exam” is spoken. Depending on the context, an oral exam also could involve squirming in the dentist chair with the mouth wide open.

Verbal relates to words, so a “verbal response” could be spoken or written.

If you are looking for the words to distinguish between spoken and written, probably the best words are “spoken” and “written.”

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Affect, effect

2010-09-01T07:22:00.002-07:00

The easiest way to remember the distinction in this frequently misapplied pair of words is that affect is a verb. “The change in tax policy is going to affect the Smiths’ family income.”

Effect generally is the result of whatever is being affected. “The effect of the tax policy will be a lower family income for the Smiths.”

Yes, you can use effect as a verb meaning to make it happen, as in “to effect change.” It is rarely used and generally stilted bureauspeak, so I would just avoid it – unless you’re using it for effect.

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Compose, comprise

2010-08-27T07:27:00.002-07:00

The whole is composed of parts. The parts comprise the whole.

“The American Southwest is composed of the states of Arizona, Colorado, New Mexico, Utah and Nevada.”

“Arizona, Nevada, Utah, Colorado and New Mexico comprise the American Southwest.”

Or think of it this way: You compose a song (take all those separate sounds and put them together). You would never say, "Paul McCartny comprised 'Yesterday.' "

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Adverse and averse

2010-08-22T12:48:00.002-07:00

Adverse is bad, harmful or against your position, as in adverse weather conditions.

Averse is an intense dislike for something.

“He was averse to doing his homework on time, which could have adverse consequences to his grade point average.”

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Wax and wane

2010-08-22T12:46:00.002-07:00

The easiest way to remember these is to apply them to the moon. The waxing moon is growing, and the waning moon is fading.

Waxing, then, means to gain in intensity or magnitude. Wane means to decrease in that, as in our waning financial security (and let’s pray that the moon cycle metaphor comes back into play here).

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Block, bloc

2010-08-18T07:02:00.001-07:00

A bloc is a coalition of some common interest, as in what we used to call the Eastern Bloc countries aligned with the former Soviet Union. It doesn’t have to be political.

Block is almost everything else you think of with the word, as in a cube (block of ice), a city block, an engine block and “You blockhead, Charlie Brown.”

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Conscious and conscience

2010-08-18T06:59:00.002-07:00

Conscious is being awake and aware. “He was conscious during the operation.” “She was conscious of the damage her story would do.”

Conscience refers to your sense of morality.

You can be conscious and still have no conscience.

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Adjacent, contiguous

2010-08-15T12:27:00.002-07:00

Both of these are stilted and shouldn’t be used. That said, they are often used interchangeably, and they are not exactly the same.

Contiguous means touching, as your next door neighbor’s property is contiguous to yours.

Adjacent means nearby, which can be touching and often is but doesn’t necessarily have to be, as in the adjacent suburbs of Phoenix include Surprise and Apache Junction (which don’t actually abut Phoenix).

Practically, if you want readers to understand you and there isn’t a compelling reason to include these words, you are more understandable using “nearby” or “next to.”

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Commonly misspelled words

2010-08-13T11:45:00.003-07:00

It took Y2K for me to finally have to learn out to spell millennium, and I’ve kept a list of other words that have bedeviled me over the years – plus a few memory joggers on how to spell them correctly. I’ve added some from other list. If you have other favorite (or hated) words that have worn our your spell checker, email them to me and I may include them on my list

Accessible –ible, not able

Accommodate - two C’s, Two M’s

Acknowledge –

Allege – there’s no ledge there.

Amend – Just one M

Apparent – Not “apparent” with an A

Argument – No sense fighting over an E

Barbecue – no Q, no hyphens. Don’t spell it like the roadside vendors do.

Bookkeeper – the Keeper of BooKs has two K’s

Calendar – think A-E-A – a vowel sandwich

Camouflage – “Camo” and “flage” hides U in the middle

Cantaloupe

Caribbean – A great place to be be.

Catalog – no UE at the end

Cemetery – All vowels are E’s

Chief

Chili, chilly – The first is hot; the second is cold.

Collectible – it’s an “ible.” Live with it.

Colonel –

Commitment – one T in the middle

Conscience, conscious, conscientious – Conscience is your sense of right and wrong. Conscious is
when you are away. Conscientious is doing things with a sense of responsibility.

Continuous

Criticize – No S. Remember that it’s coming from the critic, with a C on the end

Defendant – with an “ant”

Definite – not definite

Dilemma

Dependent – not dependant

Desert, dessert – One is sandy; two is candy

Disastrous

Dumbbell - Dumb plus bell. Don’t be a dumbell.

Echo, echoes –

Ecstasy

Embarrassment – two R’s, two S’s

Espresso – You’re not expressing anything, so X the X.

Exaggerate – exaggerate the G’s

February – Feb, are you ary?

Fiery – You’d think firey, but it’s not

Foresee – as it to see before

Fourth, but forty – who knows why

Grammar – not grammer

Grateful – not greatful

Harass – One R, two S’s

Heinous – not “Hay-nee-us”

Hemorrhage – or just write “bleeds a lot.”

Hygiene –

Inoculate – one “N”

Irrelevant – not irrevelant

Judgment – no E in the middle; it’s not judgement

Khaki –

Kindergarten – Kindergarten is no rose garden

Liaison – Revenge of the French; another vowel sandwich

Lightning – that’s the dangerous bright flashes out of the sky. Lightening would refer to a load.

Likable – No E

Lose, loose – To lose is to be defeated or to misplace. Loose is the opposite of tight. They are
misused often.

Luxurious –

Maintenance – It comes from “maintain,” but that’s how it’s spelled

Memento – it seems like it should be momento, but it’s not

Millennium – Until 2000, we didn’t use this word much. Remember the double consonants: two L’s and two N’s.

Minuscule – think of “minus” plus “cule” – whatever a cule us.

Miscellaneous – sounding it out helps: Mis – cell – an- e – ous

Misspelled – it’s “mis” and “spelled,” hence two S’s.

Occasion – two C’s, one S

Occurred - two R’s

Occurrence – No A in the final syllable

Oriented – not orientated

Pamphlets – No need for that H, but it’s there

Parallel – the parallel lines (the double L’s) go in the middle

Parliament – I am in the middle of Parliament

Pastime – As if to demonstrate the language’s inconsistency it’s NOT “past” plus “time,” it’s
pastime. One T.

Pavilion – No double L’s

Perseverance – there’s a “sever” in the middle

Playwright – They couldn’t figure out if it should be playwrite or playright, so it’s both.

Phenomenon –

Pneumonia –

Potato (but potatoes) – insert lame Quayle joke here

Practically – not practicly

Principal, principle – Principal is the owner or the guy chasing Ferris Buehler; principle is the underlying logic.

Privilege – Note the vowels and the absence of a D.

Proceed, but procedure

Publicly – You have no “ally” in public.

Questionnaire – Double N’s.

Queue, cue – Queue is a line. Cue is a stick.

Raise, raze – To raise is to put it up. To raze is to take it down.

Reign, rain, rein – The king reigns. The rain falls on the plain. Reins guide the horses.

Remembrance – not rememberance

Renaissance –

Ridiculous – not Rediculous

Sacrilegious – It sounds like Sac-religious, but it’s not spelled that way.

Satellite – T – double L – T

Savvy – two V’s

Separate – with an “A” in the middle (or A rat in the middle, if that helps remember it)

Shepherd – We had a dog named Shep who would herd the cows.

Sheriff – One R, two F’s

Sophomore – not sophmore. Think of an open mouth in the middle.

Souvenir

Studying

Subtle – Sub-tle

Supersede – No C

Thorough, though – Thorough is complete. Through is where it goes from A to B.

Truly – No E

Vacuum – Double U’s

Valleys – not vallies

Weather-whether. Weather is the temperature and precipitation, whether you like it or not.*

Weird – Yes, it’s I before E, except after C. But this one is weird.

Wherever – Just one E in the middle

Yacht

Yield – I before E

Zoology – Studying animals, like in a zoo (only it’s pronounced “zoh”)

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How do you (complement) (compliment) your spouse?

2010-08-09T07:47:00.002-07:00

Compliment, complement

I saw this one used incorrectly in a political candidate's flier, which prompted this entry.

To complement some thing or person is to add something that goes well with it or him. A scarf may complement an outfit, or a very organized chief of staff may complement a politician.

To compliment is to say nice things, such as "That's a nice outfit."

A tip you can use to remember the e and i distinction is that a complement completes and a compliment is all about "I."

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Cite, sight or site - Even lawyers goof this up

2010-07-29T10:00:00.001-07:00

What a cite to see Arizona’s immigration law sited on so many web sights.

A lawyer friend of mine who also happens to be an accomplished writer got this one wrong the other day, so obviously it is the source of some confusion.

English is a robust, mongrelized and sometimes downright larcenous language where words pop into common expression overnight. Perhaps the most confusing (particularly for foreign speakers) is the heterographs, words that sound the same but have a different spelling and meaning. An example would be rowed, road and rode.

So here’s the skinny on our friends cite, sight and site:

Site: A site is a place, like the construction site, school site and of late, web site. After falling into the pit of government jargon, it has morphed into a verb that also means to decide where to put something, as in where to site the project.
Cite: To cite means to refer to, as in to cite the Constitution, a previous court case or your favorite college professor. It has the same root as citation, and as a verb also means to hand out a citation, as in the officer cited the speeder.
Sight: Sight involves vision, as in a sight for sore eyes or the sights on a rifle.

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Who's a who and what's a that?

2010-07-28T16:35:00.001-07:00

Who that?

A common word mix-up occurs in the "X (who) (that) did Y" construction.

This should be an easy one: Who refers to people and that to things.

The error generally is made using that to refer to people, as in “Smith was the wide receiver that scored three touchdowns against State.” Smith is who, not a that.

Try this memory jogger:

Who is you.
That is fat.

That should discourage the error.

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Refute, rebut, respond (but not refutiate)

2010-07-24T13:56:00.003-07:00

Sarah Palin's use, abuse or invention of "refutiate" created this weeks petty political kerfuffle (a great, fun word, if you only use it about once a year) and set the language lawyers to their keyboards. It also gives us reason to review the respond-rebut-refute continium.

Politicians their expensive hired guns spend much time responding, rebutting and occasionally refuting, but the distinction among the words often seems lost. Here it is in short form:

To respond means to answer back. It doesn't necessarily mean to answer well, just that you came back with something. A rebuttal or refutation comes under the umbrella of a response. So does an apology or admission.

To rebut means to argue back. "There is no proof that I still beat my wife" can be a rebuttal, and so can a point-by-point argument explaining your take on the original allegations.

To refute means to prove the original argument or allegation wrong. "He refuted the accusation that he hadn't paid his bill by producing copies of his dated check." It's more than just a he-said, she-said rebuttal. It's proof.

Anyone who thinks differently is welcome to rebutiate below.

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Watch out for 'skinback' words

2010-07-18T09:48:00.004-07:00

Make your own assessment of the Arizona Republic's performance in covering SB1070, the state's controversial immigration law. There is a lesson in skinback language in the paper's headline over its Sunday, July 18 story.

Looks seem apt to play role in enforcing Arizona immigration law

I count not one, not two, but three skinbacks there. The headline writer presents information but makes it conditional or unsure. You'll see such constructions as "might hurt" or "could defeat." It's not for sure, but it's possible. Conditional stories are the easiest to report because darn near anything is possible, and you can line up advocates with the wildest and improbable predictions or poorly pondered propositions happy to provide their fodder.

In this headline, the paper appears (that's a skinback word) so unsure of the information that it made it conditional thrice:

1: Seem. I might be and it might not be. For some, it kind of looks that way.
2: Apt: Not sure if it will, but it leans that way.
3: Play role: It's not necessarily a driver, but it's in the soup there somewhere, like a role player on the Phoenix suns bench.

The question is: If you can't write a headline any stronger than that, do you really think you have a story ready to publish?

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Q: Does Twitter make us better or worse writers? A: Yes

2010-05-24T08:19:00.005-07:00

Hal: I'm curious. Is Twitter making us better writers? I find that the 140 character limit forces me to spend a few minutes revising and condensing, so I can pack lots of meaning into the allowable space. It's almost like poetry or haiku.

It's okay if your answer excludes consideration of Bieberphiles.

Twitter doesn't make us better writers. It makes some of us get to point.

Much of the problem with Twitter is the lack of points. Tweeters throw out inane announcements of intention to purchase coffee and other earth-shattering developments that even their mothers couldn’t possibly give a flying rat about. It’s hard to be Hemingway with nothing to say.

For those with a point, Twitter does impose a discipline that can be an excellent training device. When I worked for The Associated Press, certain briefs were 150 words, no more, and other reports had set and inviolate word counts (not to mention deadlines). Writing broadcast, which many of my print compatriots disdained, was perhaps the best discipline, as sentences had to be short, use active voice and contain no trailing titles, which sound funny out loud. And you had one short paragraph, that’s it, to get the whole thing in.

When I'm helping organizations develop their mission statements or working with a reporter on a lede, I often ask, "What are the five most important words we need to get in this puppy?"

WESTMARC’s mission statement is a great example: “WESTMARC promotes the West Valley and advocates on its behalf.”

When I was city editor, a reporter came in one time excited about a townhouse fire story: The parents got out quickly, but an infant was in the second-story bedroom. Dad ran up through the flames, kicked out the glass, threw the baby to Mom's awaiting arms and jumped down to the lawn himself.

"Great," I said. "Write it that way."

The original lede on the story came back something like: "A townhouse blaze in Phoenix caused $100,000 damage and minor injuries to a man and his infant daughter." C’mon.

Most people don’t have (or give) much time for reading, so you have to pack the information with key words, such as “fire,” ‘baby,” “father,” “throw” and “jump.” Wrap the lede around those five words and you have a guaranteed audience.

So Twitter’s 140-character rule forces people to carefully select their words to get across their idea.

On the down side, Twitter encourages truncating shortcuts, like “u” for “you” or “thru” for “through,” which texters who grow up with this stuff think is correct. It encourages sloppy use of the language. I don't mind breaking rules, but for a good reason, and when you actually know the rules.

The 140-character rule certainly doesn’t encourage in-depth thinking, which is the core of writing.

So good and bad.

Now tell me. Who’s this Bieber guy and why should I care?

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When does a problem become a crisis?

2010-05-20T10:40:00.006-07:00

dilemma, crisis, problem

You hear politicians, pundits and soapboxers lamenting the health care crisis, the immigration crisis, the oil spill crisis, the housing crisis, the education crisis . . . .

Listening to these folks, we have no dearth of crises.

Or do we? Are these all crises? Or are the merely problems, issues or controversies?

A crisis definitely is a problem, but it’s not just any problem at any stage. It is a problem that must be dealt with now, something at its critical turning point where it’s going to go one way or the other so action – or at least decision (which can mean no action), is required.

Education may be a huge problem in this country, but it would be hard to argue that it would go one way or the other is something isn’t done within the next week or two. On the other hand, the Suns down 2-0 to the Lakers in the Western Conference playoffs definitely requires something different happening within the next week or dire (for Phoenix sports fans anyway) consequences will follow. The turning point is the key element.

A dilemma also is a problem seeking solution, but it’s not the urgency that matters; it’s the lack of good alternatives. A dilemma is a problem with two or more alternatives, none of which is acceptable. The classic dilemma is the old rhetorical challenge: “Your spouse and daughter are in a burning building and you can only save one. Which one do you choose?” (This is more difficult for some than others.)

So let us avoid using crisis, problem and dilemma as interchangeable concepts. That would be a problem.

What the hell is an "educator?"

2010-05-18T11:14:00.003-07:00

Educator

Today we’re going to deal with a word that didn’t exist when I was a kid and has no utility today. It’s the high-falutin’ moniker: Educator.

What generally is meant by this word (or what they want you to infer) is the more common and traditional “teacher.” Teacher is a perfectly good word that describes exactly the core competency of the title-holder: someone who teaches. Hooray for them.

Whenever I hear “educator,” I assume one of two things:

1) Someone doesn’t think “teacher” is sufficiently stilted enough, that “educator” has a more respectable or professional ring to it. I disagree. I can’t think of many more respectable titles than teacher.
2) Someone who is connected to schools but doesn’t actually work in a classroom helping students learn is trying to hijack the sentiments attached to those who do. This could be an administrator or HR person or some other support role to nuts and bolts education, probably necessary roles. But it isn’t teaching, and broadening and raising the umbrella with a more expansive and less accurate word doesn’t make it so.

Anytime I hear someone describe himself as an “educator,” I immediately wonder why he won’t tell me what he does.

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Doesn’t anyone edit for facts, attribution and balance anymore?

2010-05-15T09:43:00.004-07:00

When I was a journalism student at ASU, I turned into my professor (and later editor) Max Jennings what I thought was a great read about an anti-war protester who had visited Hanoi during the Vietnam War. She had compelling anecdotes describing the people and place, about how she was treated, and I filled the piece with significant detail and color, as Max had taught me to do. I put the readers in her shoes. It read great.

He gave me a D-.

You took everything as truth and didn't challenge anything, he told me, and you didn't try to get another side of the story. That's not journalism. It's storytelling. Storytelling is fine, but journalists shouldn't foist unchallenged stories off as the truth.

That D- lesson stuck with me. I wish Max were still around to teach it to the Arizona Republic.

A story in the Saturday, May 15 edition, violates both principles as thoroughly as my Hanoi visit piece. You should read it before continuing:

Phoenix, Tucson officers sue over Arizona's new immigration law
by Ofelia Madrid

She tells the story of Phoenix Police officer David Salgado, who's suing the state over the new immigration bill SB1070. The gist of the story is that he grew up in the South Phoenix neighborhood where he now patrols, and he believes citizens are more wary of police because of the law.

Fair enough. He has his qualified perspective and the right to tell it. What's objectionable in the story is the reporter flat out stating as truth what he's saying with absolutely no factual or statistical support:

“That trust began to crack days after Gov. Jan Brewer signed into law Senate Bill 1070, which makes it a state crime to be in the country illegally and requires police to check the immigration status of anyone they have reasonable suspicion of being in the country illegally.”

Oh, that trust began to crack, did it? Where's the survey or other factual foundation that says so, or is this just the reporter blessing what she believes to be true? Not a shred of evidence is included in this story to support that statement made as a universally accepted truth.

The reporter also failed to check facts, such as, in the same paragraph above, "requires police to check the immigration status of anyone they have reasonable suspicion of being in the country illegally."

No it doesn't. They can't check anyone. They only can check those who are suspected of some other infraction. That's not "anyone." Does anyone second-read copy anymore?

She also allows a Tucson officer to opine that "the new law compels him to engage in racial profiling to prove legal status and could hinder investigations because he often depends on cooperation and information from Hispanic witnesses and victims."

The law specifically allows officers to exclude from immigration-status questioning if that would hinder the investigation, i.e., witnesses and victims. Sure, let the guy say he doesn't think that will work, but at least include the fact of the law in the story.

The reporter also allows the Phoenix officer to make the same allegation, without challenge, later in the story.

Finally, no one, not a single person, speaks for SB1070 on any of these issues. The only people quoted are opponents of SB1070. Oh, there's the obligatory "The Phoenix City Attorney's Office said it had not been served with a suit and declined to comment further." I can't imagine, though, in a state where 70 percent of the population supports SB1070 that NOT ONE SINGLE PERSON could be found to answer the allegations raised by the officers extensively quoted here. The newspaper surely had no problem finding people to speak against the law.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with the premise of this story, with getting the personal point of view of cops who oppose the law and letting them tell their story and make their arguments. One should not, however, allow them to turn you into a PR ghostwriter presenting one-sided arguments as facts.

So here's a very basic primer for reporters, one that should have been delivered on arrival in journalism school but apparently hasn't sunk in universally:

1) You're not God. You just can't proclaim something is fact without evidence or support.
2) Check facts. Particularly when you're interviewing advocates with a clear bias, you should make sure that what they tell you is correct and supportable. If not, say so.
3) Get the other side. They call that balance.

Is it just me, or shouldn’t everyone in professional journalism know this by now? How does this get through?

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"Abusing" quotation marks

2010-05-09T10:24:00.010-07:00

The subject today is quotation marks and the tendency of writers to throw them willy-nilly around words under the mistaken impression that they "add meaning."

While not as rampant and irritating as ABUSE OF THE SHIFT LOCK in clumsy attempts to make something ordinary look REALLY IMPORTANT, sandwiching words and phrases in quote marks for no grammatical reason still is a moderate annoyance.

Punctuation is to writing what notes are to the words of a song. You don't bang a bass drum in the middle of a concert just for the hell of it.

I've seen such constructions as:

The City Council has scheduled its "annual retreat."

That means exactly the same as the following:

The City Council has scheduled its annual retreat.

So please have a "reason" for punctuation, one that actually adds meaning to what you're trying to say.

Some writers use quote marks to signal their snarky suspicion of the veracity of the information. Here's an example:

Among the holiday gatherers was my "reformed" brother-in-law.

That serves to convey the intended meaning, but it's a lazy writer's device.

Side note: According to AP style, punctuation that speaks to the sentence quoted goes inside the quotation marks. So it's:

He said, "I'm never going to do that again."

not

He said, "I'm never going to do that again".

That may seem to be no big deal to you, but it will save a few blood pressure points for the persnickety editors who subsequently look at your copy -- and then decide whether it's worth the work to fix.

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Totally destroyed, totally decimated: Both wrong.

2010-05-07T08:46:00.001-07:00

Destroy, decimate

The Romans were a tough bunch who knew how to keep order in a far-flung empire more effectively than anyone before or since. A practice they used to keep unruly, rebellious or other sin-committing troops in line was to draw lots and kill every 10th soldier, sometimes at the hands of the other nine. It not only took care of the immediate problem, it sent of message to those bent on behaving like mavericks. Brutal, but not something the legionnaires wanted to go through again.

I bring this up because a friend used the word "decimate" the other day as a synonym for "destroy." They most definitely say different things.

When the Roman generals killed every 10th man, they decimated the troops. The root is "deca," or 10, which also gives us decade, decimal, etc. So to decimate means to wipe out a significant hunk but certainly not all of the whole.

Destroy, on the other hand, means to wipe out everything. Katrina decimated New Orleans. Vesuvius destroyed Pompeii.

On a side note, "totally" should not modify either.

You cannot "totally decimate" because decimate is inherently partial, and "totally destroyed" is redundant.

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Twitter DMs that resonate - or chase readers away

2010-05-05T15:24:00.010-07:00

If you use Twitter to market your goods or services and follow people with like interests to get them to follow you back, you’ve undoubtedly been bombarded with Direct Message (DM) responses – most of them not enormously enlightening.

Can DMs help you grow your network?

Yes, but it all depends on your story and presentation. If not directed and crafted properly, they’re just noise – or worse: The sender comes off like some high school drop-out shyster sitting his bathrobe late at night in trying to convince you that for $97 and a can’t-miss system, you’ll be a millionaire next week for doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! CLICK HERE NOW !!!!!!!

Delete. Unfollow. Goodbye.

In the month since I’ve started this blog. I’ve collected and grouped the hundreds of DM responses I’ve received at AZwritingcoach. The DMs that work the best for me are those that:

• Show me you know what I do
• Speak directly to me
• Give me something useful
• Engage me
• Provide straight (not over hyped) information

The ones that don’t work:

• Shout at me like spam
• Sell, sell, sell with no information
• Act as if we’re all of a sudden long-lost best buddies

My categories are (see many more examples below the column):

Speaks directly to me:

These DMs refer to what I do in such as way that tells me they’ve actually have looked at it. In my case, if they refer to writing, editing or capturing the story, I know they’ve paid attention, and that the response is real, not auto-boilerplate. I don’t know about you, but auto-responder boilerplate tells me the Direct Messenger has no idea what I do and doesn’t give a rat, other than notching another follower or selling me something.

Here’s a great example of a DM that engaged me:

AmyPR: Thanks for following me! Something I am always continuing to be better at is proper writing. Amy

Amy told me that she knows what I do and, by her name, what she does. It left a great impression. (Good PR, Amy.)

Even a boilerplate response that uses the name is better than one without:

Hal, Thanks for following me. :) Hope your Monday is going well! (Name), author, (link).

A gift:

One DM sent me a link to a coupon for something free at their business. If that works in your business, it’s a great and direct way to pulls someone into it:

CrackerJaxFun: Thanks for the follow! Here is a coupon for a buy one ride get one free coupon. Hope to see you soon. (link)

You also can link to tips or relevant information or offer a resource. They key here is not to pitch the product/service hard but to offer something of value without beating me over the head:

WholePetHealth: Thanks for the follow Woof :) Visit us at (link) for information on pet health, behavior, training and more.

Do you get business out of this? Sometimes. I had a laptop problem and emailed the guy who had sent me the DM below. He knew what the problem was right away when others wanted me to bring it in and lose use of it for days. He wound up coming to my office (yes, coming to my office) and fixing it in front of me in 15 minutes for the price that others wanted for a mere check-up. I’ll use him, and recommend him, again.

kurerepair: {Hey just wanted to send you a quick message. If you need computer help or questions @kurerepair and I can answer most anything. Thanks. :)}

Engage me:

Another way to stick your message in readers’ minds is to ask a question or ask them to do something. Some percentage of them will, and that brings you closer to contact.

TutorTina: Can I ask... what is your biggest question about Twitter?

VoteWhitener21: Thank you so much for connecting with me. If you have any ideas or ways to help me better District 21 in Arizona, please feel free to share them (link).

Here’s a simple and effective one that drew a response from me, allowing me to spread my message:

jeremy3102: hey I just noticed you started following me, can u tell me more about what you do?

I responded: AZWritingcoach: Sure. I help people find their story and tell it well. Also writing coach, editor, community portals and more. see www.azwritingcoach.com

Asking me to do something for you is less effective than trying to demonstrate what you can do for me, but at least it seeks engagement. I’ve seen a bunch of these (well, not so much the “Hey, Beautiful “ part):

paradisemedspa: Hi Beautiful! Thx for following... interested in your opinion of our website: (link)

Gives more info about them:

If you’re not going to know who I am or engage me, at least tell me a little bit about what you do. Keep it simple and provide a link to more information:

Welcome to The WineInquirer, Southern Arizona's only comprehensive wine education and resource center. (link)

Pure business pitch

These are pure turn-offs in my inbox. What I hear is “Hey, follow me so I can spam you.” If that’s the message you want to broadcast, these is no paucity of examples

Unemployed mom makes $6,397/mo working online! Read how she did it.......find out here...... ad (link).

Also falling in this DM category is the “my new best friend” – the kind who start out sounding overly needy :

Thanks for the follow. Can't wait to share some killer ideas together! Your new pal, Mark~

So if you’re going to use DMs:

• Show me you know what I do
• Speak directly to me
• Give me something useful
• Engage me • Provide straight (not over hyped) information

Examples

Speaks directly to me:

Hi, Hal! Good to see you, I like your tweets! I'll try to watch my apostrophes, sometimes my grammar isn't spot on :)

Thank you for following and welcome. Interesting tweets but I can see I'm doomed around you. My grammar is terrible.

Hi Hal! Thanks for the follow! You may become my fav tweeter...go on correct me ;)

thanks for the follow, Hal. Hope you enjoy our tweets. Great info on your blog - I'll use it regularly! Thanks for the follow :)

Thanks for following me Hal!

Hello, Hal ~ Appreciative and humbled by your follow. :) Will follow back... and looking forward to getting to know you. Best, Betina

Hal, Thanks for following me. :) Hope your Monday is going well!, author, (link)

A gift:

CrackerJaxFun: Thanks for the follow! Here is a coupon for a buy one ride get one free coupon. Hope to see you soon. http://twt.tl/lqhZBcA

kurerepair: {Hey just wanted to send you a quick message. If you need computer help or questions @kurerepair and I can answer most anything. Thanks. :)}

Coming sooonn! The Freshest Best Beef Sandwiches in the world to open in AZ. Follow us for grand opening givaways.

Hey, thanks I appreciate the follow, I'm a internet marketing specialist, here is some free and useful content. (link)

Thx for the follow! Here are some free tips on how to use Twitter effectively (link)

Thanks for following. Tweet if you have entrepreneur questions, and see daily tips at (link)

Thank For Being My Tweep ;-) Visit my blog for free twitter tools and cool twitter stuff... (link)

Hi there! We love P90X, Insanity, triathlon, and yoga. What about you? Check out (link)for free fitness & nutrition tips.

Thanks for the follow Woof :) Visit us at (link)for information on pet health, behavior, training and more.

Thanks for connecting. I look forward to networking for our mutual benefit. My gift to you (link)

Welcome to hiking AZ. We'll show you how to find some of the best hiking in the Southwest. We'd really like to hear about your favorite hike.

Asks a question:

TutorTina: Can I ask... what is your biggest question about Twitter?

VoteWhitener21: Thank you so much for connecting with me. If you have any ideas or ways to help me better District 21 in Arizona, please feel free to share

azfec: Thank you for following the Arizona Free Enterprise Club. Consider adding us to your device for real-time updates. Feel free to give us feedback at (link).

ilvinaio: I just took "Which Crazy Writer Are You?" and my result was Oscar Wilde. What is yours? Try: (link)

jeremy3102: hey I just noticed you started following me, can u tell me more about what you do?

Gives more info about them:

Thank you for following us! You can find out much more about our resort, fine-dining and world-class spa at (link)

Thank you for following us! We are a small group of independent business owners and artisans looking to share resources and gain exposure in t

Thanks for following getcivic.org ... Our vision is to change the world by developing individual and community capacity, promoting transform

Thank you for following us. Let me know if you have any questions about foundation repair, cracks in your walls, or waterproofing. 602-326-1

Thank you for following Neutral Zones of America! (link)

Thanks for following Phoenix Network. We are building a network of Phoenix area businesses and business professionals.

Welcome to The WineInquirer, Southern Arizona's only comprehensive wine education and resource center. (link)

Thanks for following us on Twitter. Learn more about our store at (link) or visit us online at www.ariz

We appreciate the follow and hope we add value to you and your extended network! (link)

Asks me to do something else:

Thanks for following us! Follow our link to see today's best deals at Amazon. (link)

Hi Beautiful! Thx for following... interested in your opinion of our website: (link)

Hi, thank you for the follow - I'll return the favor! If you have any dental questions make sure to @ msg me! (link)

Thanks for following! If I can ever help you out, don't hesitate to tweet me or send me a DM.

Thanks for following us! We'd love to have you as a fan on Facebook: (link)

Hi, Thanks for the follow, catch great high def environmental news videos everyday at our site, (link)

Thanks so much for following me. If you'd like to know more about me, please visit my blog at (link)

Thanks for following! Visit (link)and give it a thumbs up!

Thanks for the follow.For updates & info about Cabo see our blog at (link) or become a fan (link)

Thanks for following. Let's connect on (link).

Look forward to your tweets :) Thanks for the follow. Be sure to visit our blog at (link). Get Well. Stay Well. Be Well, naturally.

Thanks for following me, you should also check out (link). If I can help you with $10 Radio Ads or getting your own

Keep current on SEO changes, techniques, news that affect ur online visibility. Stay step ahead (link)

Thanks for following Strategic. Find us on FB at: (link)

Thanks for following us. Please go to (link) for more info on how you can get involved.

Thanks for following Gabriel's Angels. Looking forward to your tweets! Visit us at (link)

Thank you for following! Become a "Fan" on our Facebook page. Click "Share" at the bottom of our website: (link)

I hope you find all the jobs you are looking for. I update every day. You can also try (link)

Validation:

(Name) uses TrueTwit validation service. Please follow this link to validate your profile. (link) Thanks

Boilerplate responses

Thanks for following Morton's Phoenix & Scottsdale!

Thank you for following me ~ looking forward to sharing, learning & growing with you!

Thanks for the follow. Looking forward to hearing from you. Find us also on Facebook at (link) I look forward to learning more about you. Thank you, (link)

Hello! Thanks for following me. I look so forward to connecting with you and learning more about you Thanks for following us!

Hi, it is so great to connect with you. I look forward to getting to know you and learning all about you. Have a fantastic day! Tracy

Thanks for following me - hope to provide you with some good finds

{Nice to meet you! I look forward to sharing tweets with you!|

Thanks for following Blue Raven Creations. I hope you enjoy my tweets.|Thanks

Hi and thanks for following me! I look forward to your tweets and getting to know you better! Thanks again! Lisa

Welcome to my nest. Seo advice, news, humor, musings etc. Let's rock this bird!

Hey - Thanks for following us. Communities are built by people like yourself who care.

Thanks for the follow. I appreciate it!

hello there,Thanks for following me on my twitter......lets get started

Hey there, thanks for following me on twitter. I really appreciate it. Talk to you soon.

Thanks for following. It'll be fun getting to know one another.

Thank you for following the Maricopa Skill Center. We look forward to sending you the latest news and updates!

Wow - thanks for the follow in the Twittersphere. Looking forward to learning more about your world.

Thanks for the follow! I look forward to your tweets and learning more about you.

Hi there, thank you for the follow! We can't wait to hear from you!

Thank you for following me. Have a great day.

Thanks for the follow, have a great day! Nice to tweet you! Look forward to learning more about you. Cheers! Lisa

Pure pitch response:

Hey Hal DeKeyser Use this to get some followers on autopilot. Its workign for me (link) Thanks 4 following!

We r looking 4 real people to star in our road trip 2 Vegas promoting the 2010 MotorTrend COTY, the Ford Fusion! Apply b

Thank you for following us! Need some PR for your company? Contact me today! (link).

Thank you for following us! If you own a business or are a part of one, you might consider looking into our group buying power for

Thanks for the following! Interested in growing your Twitter following, 19,530 on auto pilot? Click here: (link) TNX 4 Followng!

NEED HELP BUYNG CAR IN AZ! BUS OR PLEASURE! I CAN HELP! FLT. PRICES! (link) Only $59 for teeth whitening with a bonus!!! (a $158 value) Good for 6 mos! Avail at (link)

Get $6772.25 at club2wealth ????? L@@k --->>> (link)

GREEN B&B, 2 hours from the Grand Canyon, 15 mins from Sedona. The perfect place to base your AZ adventure! (link)

Unemployed mom makes $6,397/mo working online! Read how she did it.......find out here...... ad (link)

Get a Fantastic Deal on a New Homes in Phoenix, AZ (link)

A bit over the top:

Hey- Thanks for the #follow!|Thank you for the #follow!|I appreciate the #follow. Thanks!|Hi. I can't believe you're following me. Are you s

Thanks for the follow. It's such a humbling experience to gain new followers like you. I can't wait to start sharing information with you.

Thanks for the follow. Can't wait to share some killer ideas together! Your new pal, Mark~

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Replace stilted bureaucratese with words people actually use

2010-05-04T12:06:00.004-07:00

I had a reporter once turn in a story about a bad guy the cops caught in Chandler. The copy contained this phrase – I swear I’m not making this up – undoubtedly lifted directly from the police report:

“The suspect was apprehended by a resident of an adjacent dwelling unit.”

“Do you mean,” I asked the reporter, “a neighbor caught him?”

Here’s another gem we got from a press release in Scottsdale, talking about how people were going to be moved around a big public event (I don’t remember it exactly, but this is a fairly close approximation):

“Visitors will be transported by at-grade, rubber-wheeled, individually piloted, public vehicular transportation units.”

We took a chance and called them “buses.” What the hell.

There must be a class in bureaucrat’s school on how to be officious, obtuse and verbose without passing on any actual information. I don’t know if they think it sounds more educated or official, or perhaps it’s peer pressure to speak the language of the tribe. But if your goal is to communicate rather that obfuscate, you might want to speak the language of the people.

Three tips:

Fewer words are better.
If you can’t imagine hearing yourself speak to your neighbor using those words, don’t use them to communicate information to people you don’t know.
If it sounds stupid when you read it out loud, it sounds stupid to the reader.

Following are a few examples of language pulled from actual news releases. Avoid these constructions.

Comingled. How exactly is that different from “mingled?”

Adjacent, contiguous. Do you ever hear people say this in conversation. “I was talking to my adjacent neighbor yesterday . . . .”

Additional. Just use “more.”

Attritioned. You’re just as much out of a job if they use a fancy verb (or verbed noun, in this case) to describe it. “Fired” works just as well.

Numerous. That’s sufficiently vague to render it void of information. It says no more than the plural form already does. Could it mean a handful or 4 million? Who knows if the writer doesn’t tell us.

Prior to. Try “before.”

Vehicle. If you can be more precise, as in car or truck or motorcycle, give us that.

Utilize. Sports guys love this word, for some reason. Do you ever utilize this word in your everyday language. Or do you just use “use?”

Pro-active. This may be bureaucrats’ all-time favorite nonsense word, perhaps behind “impact.” What meaning exactly does “pro” add to “active?” If you are pro-active, can you also be post-active? Why don’t you just tell us what you’re going to do instead of spewing no-meaning bureaucratese?

Sorry. Got wound up. I’ll have lots more of these in later posts. If you have other examples to share with the world, please email them to me.

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Incredible and incredulous

2010-04-30T13:53:00.002-07:00

Incredible and incredulous

"That’s incredible" was a cheesy ‘80s TV show that demonstrated, as if it needed demonstrating, what stupid things people would do to get attention, like juggling things that kill. When you see someone land a plane on a moving truck, you just might say, “That’s incredible.”

What you mean is that it’s remarkable, not that it is without credibility. You are wowed by it, but you believe it, like an incredible touchdown pass.

Incredulous, on the other hand, is about a lack of credibility. If you are incredulous, you are at the very least skeptical, probably doubtful and perhaps convinced someone is full of it.

“He thought it incredulous that American politicians believe we could tax our way out of a recession.”

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Dock, wharf and pier

2010-04-28T07:50:00.003-07:00

Dock, wharf, pier

Otis Redding was sitting on the dock of the bay, watching the tide roll away. When you visit San Francisco, you simply must go to Fisherman’s Wharf, and perhaps wander out on Pier 39. What’s the difference between a dock, a wharf and a pier?

San Francisco gives us the best visual example:

• A wharf is a structure running parallel to the shoreline to which boats tie up to load or unload cargo or passengers.
• A pier has the same function, except it sticks out into the water perpendicular to the shoreline.
• Dock means the areas between all these structures where the ships are. It has also come to mean the whole area, including the structures.

So Otis would have been better off sitting on the wharf or pier of the bay. But that wouldn’t have had quite the same ring to it.

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nausea, nauseous and nauseated

2010-04-27T06:57:00.003-07:00

nausea, nauseous, nauseated

“Sex and death are two things that come but once in my lifetime, but at least after death you're not nauseous.” -- Woody Allen, Sleeper, 1973.

Woody is a talented filmmaker and a funny fellow, but he’s wrong about nauseous.

Playing his classic nerdy, neurotic ,hypochondriac, Woody spoke quite a bit about being nauseous. But what he really meant was nauseated. Here’s the rule:

* Nausea – that sick, upset stomach that comes with bad food and news
* Nauseated –when one is struck with nausea, one feels nauseated
* Nauseous – the cause of that illness, perhaps the double chimichanga grande with extra guacamole, or news that someone close has been killed, or something personally disgusting

Given that Woody Allen left is wife to run off with his 17-year-old adopted step-daughter, though, maybe he does mean what he says.

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We’re just pleased as punch to announce that . . .

2010-04-26T13:38:00.006-07:00

The Acme Corp. is mortified to announce its new director of community relations, Bob Miller.

You’ve never seen that in a news release, and you never will. You will see, however, ad nauseam examples of the opposite:

The Acme Corp. is (excited) (delighted) (pleased) (proud) (happy) to announce its new director of community relations, Bob Miller.

Here’s a headline for PR writers: No one gives a rat’s patootie how pleased or excited the announcer might feel. People care about information, and not having to dig through pablum and giggly drivel to find it.

Whenever I’ve seen a release pass my desk with one of these self-focused intros, I tend to assume that:
• The writer doesn’t know how to find the story hook.
• There is no story.
• The writer thinks readers might actually feel the excitement at the hiring of a new assistant auditor,
• The PR agency writes releases by formula, including those that convey no information. They believe this works.
• Someone at the company told the client that the news release would be filled with enthusiasm about the information, and the writer has to throw in this stuff to comply.

Here’s a tip. Cut to the chase. Knock off the happy flourishes and just say what happened. People who serve as gatekeepers to the information pipeline – the folks you want to pay attention to your missives – get a lot of offerings. They’ll only wade so far through slushy wordiness before they will be simply delighted (excited, happy, pleased, etc.) to hit the delete button.

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Apostrophe now - What's missing or what's owned?

2010-04-24T10:13:00.007-07:00

At a Phoenix Suns games some years ago, I found myself in front of a sign reading “Visitor’s locker room.”

This is going to be a cake game, I thought. The Suns are playing against only one guy, the guy who owns that room.

We seem to have enormous trouble with the smallest pieces of the sentence. A great example is the apostrophe – this little bugger (‘). It’s often thrown in willy-nilly with little thought about how it is supposed to affect the meaning.

Here is the easy way to remember when to use the apostrophe:

1) Someone owns something.
2) Something is missing

When it is ownership, think of the apostrophe as the arrow that points to the owner. If it is Bob’s motorcycle, then the arrow (apostrophe) points at Bob. That works the same with plural possessive. A doctor’s hospital is owned by one; a doctors’ hospital by many.

This is important. Look how often the Arizona-based Bashas’ brand is butchered. The family didn’t call it Basha market (a brand) or Basha’s market (owned by one dude named Basha). Family members called it Bashas’ – an intentional plural possessive to tell the world that many in the family were behind the store. The arrow (apostrophe) points to multiple Bashas, not just one. Yet people in Arizona throw that apostrophe in anywhere, often excluding all but one Basha, or removing the ownership element entirely. Eddie, Sr. and Ike must spin in their graves.

So remember:

Musicians piano = a piano used by musicians
Musician’s piano = a piano owned by a singular musician
Musicians’ piano = a piano owned by multiple musicians

If you wondered what I meant about the visitor’s locker room in the first sentence, go back to it now and see if it makes sense. If not, read from the beginning to here again.

Something is missing.

What we’re normally talking about here is contractions. In the previous sentence, we could have said, “What we are normally talking about . . .” We shortened it from “we are” to “we’re.” The apostrophe substituted for the space and the “a”. You use “can’t” instead of “cannot,” “doesn’t” instead of “does not” and so on.

You know this stuff. I’m being intentionally basic to make the point that one doesn’t throw in an apostrophe without a reason – it is not just an accessory to go with words like a decorative scarf with a favorite outfit. It must have a purpose. If you know the purpose, you will use it correctly. If you don’t, you might look stupid.

People commonly misuse the apostrophe with dates, a good illustration of not thinking it through.

Which is the correct usage to describe the decade of the Beatles?

1960’s
60’s
60s

The answer is D, none of the above, unless the point is that the decade owns something, in which case 1960’s would be correct (that was not the question asked, though). What you should use is 1960s, which is merely plural, or the ‘60s, using the apostrophe to substitute for something missing (in this case, “19”).

So it’s something owned or something missing. It’s simple.

One last thing: its and it’s. You’re just going to have to remember this one.

The contraction trumps the possessive, so “it’s” means “it is,” and “its” means something owned by it.

It’s a beautiful day in Arizona.

Its fur was glistening.

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Commonly misused words: farther, further

2010-04-19T07:28:00.003-07:00

Farther, further

Farther describes physical distance; further speaks to completeness.

“He had to drive five miles farther to find the party.”

“His research had much further to go before discovering a cure for the common hangover.”

The easy way to remember is “far.” A physical distance can be near or far. The comparative to far is farther. You can’t find a construction that fur and further (outside of Texas).

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There's no their there

2010-04-16T16:53:00.002-07:00

ASU begins their season . . . .

Today we’re going to tackle what probably is the most frequently broken grammar rule in America: the singular noun followed by the plural possessive pronoun.

You see this everywhere, and broadcasters are repeat, and I fear clueless, offenders.

In the sentence above, is ASU singular or plural? Singular (very good). Does their follow a singular or plural noun. Plural. Correct again.

So if it’s so easy when asked that way, why is this violated so cavalierly?

Remember:

ASU opens its season.

The Sun Devils open their season.

And let’s pray that they both close their regular seasons with a win over the Cats.

Commonly misused words: assure, ensure, insure

2010-04-13T07:01:00.002-07:00

assure, ensure, and insure

All these words come under the “Don’t worry” umbrella, ranging from “everything will turn out right” to “I’ll make it good if it doesn’t.”

Assure is the former. When you assure someone of something, you’re saying it will be OK; it will work. But it is your opinion, not backed by any compensation should it not. “He assured investors that they would make big money investing in real estate.”

Ensure adds a little action, the kind needed to make the thing happen. But it doesn’t grant compensation should it fail, either. “He ensured them they would be able to get the loan by puffing up their credit report.”

Insure is the guarantee that if the thing goes wrong, there will be compensation, as in health insurance (at least the way we hope health insurance works). “The actor insured his face for $10 million.” If he rides his motorcycle face-first into a tree, he gets the dough.

News release form from AZWritingCoach.com

2010-04-10T10:12:00.007-07:00

You can use this simple boilerplate form to get out something to one or more publications/news operations. If you use these guidelines, you should be able to get most basic releases to multiple outlets – and don’t forget web sites and bloggers.

Who’s your audience? If it’s Valleywide, then send it to the entire Valley. If it’s West or East Valley, target those outlets. If it’s business, then make sure you get it to business editors and the Phoenix Business Journal and similar operators who aim at that audience. Don’t forget magazines, broadcast, web-based operators and zone editors of the metro paper.
Target your content for your audience. If it affects the West Valley and you’re trying to get it into West Valley Magazine, make sure the salient regional information is high up in the release. If it targets multiple geographies, somewhere put a list by area. Same goes for topical content.
It’s OK to write an entire story, but make sure the key information (what we call the “nut graph”) is up top.
Don’t send advertising as editorial content, but many operations have plenty of latitude for business news, including new locations, products, key employees, etc.

You can use the following form from www.LogOntoAZ.com as a guideline (and you should always include that site in your news release list; send to: LogOntoAZnews@gmail.com).

Fill out this form, with as much information as available, and send it to your news release list. With the key recipients, it’s OK to call in a day to make sure it was received (unless they tell you otherwise). Include your name, email address and phone number. If a question below doesn’t apply to your news release, just leave it blank.

If this is too burdensome, contact AZWritingCoach.com at HalD@WhizBangGroup.com and we will get it done for you for a reasonable and competitive price. If you have a simple question, email it to HalD@WhizBangGroup.com and we’ll try to get you a quick and free suggestion.

If you want to do it all yourself, here’s a form:

NEWS RELEASE
Date of release:

Describe the event, issue, organization or information you would like to get out (use complete sentences).

For example:

The Peoria Dog Club will have a free rabies vaccination clinic from 2-4 p.m. Wednesday, Sept. 24 at Acme Park, 1234 N. 79th Ave. in Peoria. The public is invited. No reservations are necessary.

For more information, contact Bob Smith at 623-555-1234, bsmith@peoriadogs.com or visit www.Peoriadogs.com.

About Peoria Dog Club: The Peoria Dog Club is a non-profit organization of dog lovers in Peoria, AZ. The group offers classes to help dog owners train their pets and helps train owners on responsibilities of pet ownership, including health, safety, training.

If there is a story about how this organization or event evolved or what led up to it, you may explain.

Details (include all that apply – it’s OK to be redundant with the nut graph above):
Time(s)/date(s)
Address/Location(s)/Directions
Is there a charge, and if so, how much?
Phone
Email
Website
Head of this organization and/or contact person.
Any other salient information not asked on this?

-30-

If you have a photo or logo that could accompany this, email it (JPEG generally preferred) in an attachment. You can also include a link to a web site. Then send it (include LogOntoAZnews@gmail.com).

(This post will remain as a page on AZWritingCoach on the left panel under How to produce basic news releases that work so you won't have to find this specific blog when you want this information later.)

If you want a news release produced, edit or distributed – or training on how to do it yourself -- contact HalD@WhizBangGroup.com or 602-316-6863.

Writing tips: "There are" constructions

2010-04-08T15:06:00.003-07:00

Almost all sentences that begin with "There are" or "There is" can be changed simply to make them more active voice, to the point and save words. You also get rid of the "Th" in front of the sentence, which begins more sentences than any other two letters.

"There is a battle raging over student rights at . . . ."

try:

"A battle is raging (or A battle rages) over student rights at . . . . "

The latter is more active (raging vs. the passive "is"), gets to the issue quicker and dumps a too-often-used construction.

Every time you see "There is" in front of a sentence, try changing it thusly. It works almost all the time.

"There were 12 people appointed to the committee by the mayor."

Try:

"The mayor appointed 12 people to the committee."

Shorter, more active, more quickly to the point.

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Commonly misused words: allude, elude

2010-04-08T14:27:00.002-07:00

allude, elude

When you allude to something, you speak of it or refer to it, as in an allusion. Elude means to avoid capture.

You may allude to the Internal Revenue Service and attempt to elude its auditors.

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Commonly misused words: imply, infer

2010-04-04T10:26:00.012-07:00

Imply, infer

The speaker implies. The listener infers.

"The boss implied that if he didn't get to work on time, David would be out of a job."

"David inferred from the meeting with the boss that his job was on the line."

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Word economy: Saving ink, trees and eyeballs

2010-04-04T10:14:00.016-07:00

Examples below were pulled from press releases, stories or reporters' copy:

“They voted to pursue the purchase of . . .”
“They voted to buy . . .” Also, “buy” is much more active and much less stilted than “the purchase of.”

"seeing possible signs of a recession"
Doesn’t “signs” tell you that it’s just a possibility. “Signs” of a recession indicate that a recession is possible. The signs are real, not merely possible. They are the dots along the trend line that one might piece together to infer a coming recession. It’s not the signs that are in doubt, it is whether they signal a recession.

“You can get that directly and at no cost through X at . . . ’’
Try: “You can get that free at . . .” I'm constantly amazed at how much ink PR folks want to spend on the concept of "free."

“At the corner of Southern and Dobson . . .”
We can assume that where two streets meet, a corner will be part of the package -- perhaps more than one. Let’s just say “at Southern and Dobson” unless we want to indicate the southwest corner or add other useful information.

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Misused words: convince, persuade

2010-04-02T07:33:00.007-07:00

convince, persuade

I am convinced of something and persuaded to do something.

I am convinced him that Sheriff Joe Arpaio is a (genius) (bufoon) and persuaded him to vote (for) (against) him. (Fill in your own politics.)

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Misused words: Besides, beside

2010-04-02T07:31:00.002-07:00

Beside, besides

Beside mean next to, as in I sat beside the congressman.

Besides means except, as in we need someone besides him in office.

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Misused words: aggravate, irritate

2010-04-01T08:10:00.002-07:00

aggravate, irritate

When a condition exists, you can make it worse, or aggravate it, as in aggravating an injury. The condition must exist to be aggravated. Not so with irritate. You can irritate something that is neutral.

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Misused words: Capitol, capital

2010-04-01T08:04:00.004-07:00

Capitol, capital

Capitol is the building or city that is the seat of government. That old copper-domed building on West Washington in Phoenix is Arizona’s Capitol. Capital refers to financial or other resources and upper case letters that PR people use when SOMETHING IS REALLY IMPORTANT!!!!!

Arizona still has a Capitol, at least at this writing. It has less capital.

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Word economy: Cutting words that add no meaning

2010-03-31T19:19:00.005-07:00

The point is located at the corner of word economy and clarity

In editing reporters’ copy and marketers’ releases, I find countless words and phrases that add no meaning but take up valuable space.

In the printed form, that acreage is priceless as publishers have to murder more trees to get in more words. While the Web may make that real estate much cheaper, the larger battle is for the attention of readers, who all have their own story length pain point, the spot where they say to themselves that whatever is in front of them isn’t even worth starting because it’s just too long.

So when getting their attention is so valuable, we should husband time and space as frugally as possible. A great place to start is getting rid of words we throw in for the comfort of cliché that really add no information. This may seem to be persnickety, but you would be surprised at how many useless and sometimes silly words take up valuable space.

Here are some tips for doing so (culled from just a few days of releases – with the content slightly changed to protect the guilty):

Words to cut out of your language:

Located at 1234 Elm St.
If it’s lost and someone found it, it’s been located. Otherwise, it’s just “at.”

Will be held at
Will be at. “Held” adds no meaning but does add a word.

in an effort to.
Just use “to”

A total of nine
Nine -- unless the totaling really matters

All proceeds from the event go to benefit X.
Try this: Proceeds benefit X. We can assume the “all” unless we’re told different. We don’t need “from the event” when the event is all we’ve talked about heretofore. And “go to” adds no meaning.

Look for more word economy tips on this blog under the clever heading, "word economy"

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Misused words: uninterested and disinterested

2010-03-31T19:05:00.000-07:00

Uninterested and disinterested

If I’m uninterested, I really don’t give a rat about the subject. If I’m disinterested, I don’t have a dog in that fight, but I might find it interesting.

If you don’t want to watch the Super Bowl regardless of who is playing, you’re uninterested. If you want to watch but don’t care who wins, you’re disinterested. If you watch and root for Dallas or Minnesota, you’re uninteresting.

Misused words: fewer and less

2010-03-31T18:56:00.003-07:00

fewer and less
Fewer is a measure of number. Less is a measure of volume.

Let’s use a favorite subject for example: beer. Bob has a keg, and Bill has a sixpack. Bob has fewer beers. But Bill has less beer. We're partying with Bob.

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Commonly misused: Continuous, continual

2010-03-29T07:46:00.003-07:00

Continuous, continual
Something continuous does not stop, as in “the continuous decline in the fortunes of the newspaper industry,” and I have many compatriots bemoaning that development.

Something continual keeps on happening over and over again. “He continually was unable to turn in his assignments on time.”

There can be breaks in the action with continual but not with continuous.

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Commonly misused: flotsam, jetsam

2010-03-29T07:25:00.004-07:00

flotsam, jetsam
They are often used interchangeably, such as “Real estate agents, bankers and professionals with degrees are the flotsam and jetsam of the housing crash.” But their meanings differ slightly.

Jetsam is the stuff you jettison to lighten the load, perhaps to prevent going down, originally a nautical allusion but employed metaphorically in other circumstances. Flotsam refers to the wreckage that bobs up to the surface, not necessarily thrown off purposely. So if your industry threw you overboard, you’re jetsam; if you are a victim of the wreck but not intentionally targeted, you’re flotsam.

Feel any better about that?

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Libel, slander, false light

2010-03-28T16:42:00.005-07:00

Defamation, libel, slander and false light

All are commentary of some sort that bring down someone’s reputation. Libel, slander and false light all are defamation.

Slander is saying something defamatory about someone: “The congressman is a thief.”

Libel is publishing it, or writing it where someone else sees it.

False light might not be directly alleging something negative about someone but making it appear as if that were the case. For example, suppose I publish a story about people not paying their bills and run a photo of several people standing in a line, with you clearly identifiable and prominent in the photo. With a headline about deadbeats and a cutline that says people aren’t paying their bills, that package would make it appear as if you’re a deadbeat who doesn’t pay obligations, regardless of whether it says that specifically or not. That’s false light.

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Commonly misused: expect, anticipate

2010-03-28T16:37:00.003-07:00

Expect, anticipate

When you expect something to happen, that means you believe it will happen. When you anticipate, you make plans to deal with it.

When it's third and long on a football game I'm watching on TV, I expect a pass. The defense has to anticipate one. Arizona legislators may have expected a budget problem. They certainly did not anticipate it.

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Commonly misused words: anxious, eager

2010-03-28T16:16:00.005-07:00

Anxious, eager

Both of these refer to a heightened and emotional state of awareness about something upcoming. Eager indicates that you are relishing the prospect of that, while anxious indicates nervousness about it. You may be anxious about an upcoming test and eager for summer vacation (seldom the opposite). You may be both anxious and eager about your sex life.

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Commonly misused words: that and which

2010-03-27T13:12:00.006-07:00

That and which

These words get mixed up quite a bit, with many users either assuming they are synonyms or not understanding the difference. "That" introduces essential information while "which" introduces supplemental information. Think of "that" as part of a long noun cluster that is required to understand the sentence and "which" as leading information that is enlightening but not necessary.

For example, if I tell you that I live at the fourth house, which is single story, from the corner, you would count one, two, three, four houses, and -- yup, that fourth house a single story one. If I say I live in the fourth house that is single story from the corner, you only count the single story houses.

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